8. Traffic Jam
I was once walking down the street when a car slammed on its brakes, reversed in my direction and stopped. The man inside then came over and tried to usher me into his vehicle by talking about how he'd take me to where I was going. He also said that he wanted to get to know me very badly. I politely declined.
9. A Generational Issue
I lived in Hawaii. I was walking home late one night and saw a guy carrying a huge bag of mangoes coming in my direction. As we're passing, he stops me and asks if I want some of his mangoes. I'm not in the habit of taking mangoes from strange men in the night, so I politely refuse. He becomes enraged and starts screaming at me."What do you mean you don't want any mangoes? You're a freaking haole!"
Haole is the local slang for someone who is not of Hawaiian ancestry. "I just don't really need any mangoes right now," I tell him. That seemed to calm him down a bit. Then he asks me, "So what do you think is gonna happen in Iraq?" I told him I had no idea, and then he really loses it. He is screaming at me "What do you mean you don't know? You're a haole, you're supposed to know these things!"
I have never actually been in a situation where I thought I was going to have to violently defend myself from an attacker, but this guy was becoming so enraged that I was backing away and trying to figure out what the best way to take him down would be if needed. Then he calms down almost instantly and says, "I don't know man, it's a crazy world out there, cuz, you know we go from generation to generation to generation to generation to generation to generation to generation..."
He continued on like that for about a minute, "...to generation to generation—and then there's you! So study hard man, stay in school, and you're gonna do great!” He then said “I'm sorry, man!" and walked away.
10. Window Into His Soul
A crazy guy in a tinfoil hat ran up to me in the bus terminal and gave me a CD. Then he told me not to play it in Windows or they'd track me.
11. Redress of Grievances
Once I was buying eyeliner from a store and this lady comes up and starts telling me about how much she is going to yell at God when she dies for making her age. What the heck...
12. Snubbed
I didn’t have my glasses on and thought I saw someone I knew. I started incessantly waving hi and then chasing them down when they weren’t reacting. I guess I was their weirdest human interaction.
13. May I Have This Dance?
You know that ol' awkward little dance that happens when you run into someone in a hallway? Today, I almost ran into this guy. When he saw me coming, this total stranger just tightly grabbed my shoulders, moved me to the side in one fluid motion and ran away. I can't say that was the best solution, but I guess it's better than the dance and didn’t waste anyone’s time.
Well played, awkwardly aggressive stranger!
14. Pumpkin Spice Stupidity
I’m walking back to my college dorm at 3 AM after studying all day in the library. As I'm about to cross the road onto my street, a car drives up to the intersection with maybe six passengers. A guy in the back seat pops the window open, holds up a pumpkin, and shouts at me asking me if I want it. He promises me it’s free, and “at least a six pounder."
15. Hey!
One day, I sat down at the back of the bus like I always do. A dude came on and sat in the seat in front of me. He looked pretty normal—T-shirt and jeans, looked awake and didn't smell like a pothead. He turned around to look at me and said "Hey." So I respond with the same "Hey," figuring he'd carry on with whatever he had to say.
But he just replies with another "Hey." I'm thrown at this point, my parents didn't prepare me for this. I respond with "Hey?", trying to convey the phrase "Do you want something?" into a single syllable. Dude just breaks into a smile and triumphantly says "Hey." He then turns back around and sits quietly until he gets off the bus a few minutes later.
16. A Tale of Two Cities
I had recently moved to the city, having grown up in a rural area, and made the mistake of smiling at a stranger as he walked past. Ten minutes later, he appeared beside me as I was browsing in a book shop to declare his love for me.
17. Man on a Mission
I was pumping gas and ran into the station for a quick drink. When I came out, some weird looking dude was getting out of the front seat of my truck. It took a couple seconds to sink in, but by the time I got to my truck, I realized this guy was either trying to steal my truck or to steal stuff from inside it.
I confronted him and asked him what he was doing. He said, “God told me to take your truck.” I stood there for a couple of seconds dumbfounded and told him he belonged in a mental institution. He agreed with me and then took off into an empty field and disappeared. Don’t do drugs, kids.
18. Sending Mixed Signals
The other night, I needed a phone charger, so I asked someone if she knew where I could get one. She replied, "Oh, you can just use mine!" I asked "Would you be alright with that?", to which she replied "No!" and walked away.
19. Good Samaritan
I’m waiting at a bus stop when this woman comes up next to me and is very thankful that the bus hasn't come yet. Then she proceeds to start getting distraught. I ask if she's ok. The woman proceeds to tell me the life story of her past few weeks. Her daughter recently passed away and she was very upset. Apparently, she'd been in the hospital for a while and they weren't sure what was wrong.
The woman is crying now. How does someone react to that?? I turn to this poor woman and simply open my arms, asking if she'd like a hug. She nods, collapses onto me and cries into my chest/shoulder. I can't do anything but hold her. She eventually pulls away, we get on the bus, and move on with our days. I like to think I was helpful to this stranger in her moment of emotional need, but I guess I’ll never really know.
20. Button Up Your Overcoat
I like wearing long overcoats and was picking up a DVD from Blockbuster on my way home from work one day many years ago. While I was picking out a film, a random bloke came over started the following conversation:
"That's a really nice coat."
"Thanks mate."
“It looks really comfy."
"It is."
"So... when do I get to try it on?"
“Excuse me?”
“I mean... may I try it on please?”
"No."
21. Cabbage Patch Kid
My boyfriend and I were taking the bus home after going downtown for a date. We sat in the back, where my favorite little corner spot is. This particular evening, however, I noticed a man sitting in my preferred spot. Normally, this isn't a big deal in the slightest, since you can't really claim a seat on public transit. But this guy had on a helmet made of cabbage.
I had to double take at him a couple of times. Nothing else was particularly off about him, he just had an obviously homemade helmet of cabbage. I knew it was cabbage the moment I saw him, but I couldn't muster up the courage to say something until we got off the bus. As we were leaving, I ran after him just to tell him that I liked his cabbage hat and that it was the coolest thing I've seen all day. He said, "Thanks, no one has pointed it out yet!"
22. Happy Ending
I was at university. This girl and I looked at each other. I recognized her as someone I used to know, so I walked over and started a conversation. We talked for the next 2-3 hours. Turns out, she was not who I thought she was, and she had also thought that I was somebody she knew. We’re now still friends five years on.
23. War and Peace
I was writing out a skit for an after-school program back in my high school days. The guy I'm working on it with steps out to use the restroom. As he’s entering, some guy he apparently also knows is coming out. The fellow makes a snappy comment towards my friend as they pass each other. I do the finger guns to him in response, and he does finger guns right back at me.
Things then quickly escalate into a finger gun shootout—we start snapping at each other from across the room, until it all ends in a climactic final charge. He falls defeated to the floor, where I give him the finger guns execution style. I help him up and we get back to doing our individual projects. Our mutual friend walks back into the room completely oblivious to what just happened.
I had never spoken to this person before, and never really saw him again after that. Our sole interaction was an impromptu finger gun war while our mutual friend was in the bathroom.
24. You Say You Want a Revolution?
Once when I was at work, a dude came up to me and started talking about some sort of global system he wanted to see implemented where everyone does a certain amount of work and we all get to live in luxury, or something. I was too nonplussed to do anything but smile and nod.
25. That’s Just Corny
I was walking into a Walmart and a woman was comforting her crying child by saying, “Hush child! There be corn dogs up in here!”
26. Can You Direct Me to the Nearest Mental Institution?
When I was around 13, some guy pulled up and asked me for directions, then offered a handshake at the end of it. As soon as I reached over, he pulled me into his car through the passenger side window and started driving off with my legs hanging out. He kept laughing hysterically the whole time, and finally stopped 3-4 blocks away and said "Man you should have seen your face! That was funny! Alright, man. Take care" and drove off.
27. Finally, Someone Who Understands Me!
There was this man in his 60s yelling at a wall next to my house. My friend, who was about 12 at the time, thought it would be funny to stand beside the man and yell at the wall too. The man turned to him, stared at him for a second, approached him, gave him a kiss on the cheek, and walked away.
28. Play Ball!
I was walking down the street and a guy shouted "OOOYYY!!!" and threw a beanbag at me as I walked by. Instinctively, I caught the beanbag. He then says, "Throw it back then!" so I throw it back. He shouts “Thanks mate” and runs off.
29. Doppelgangers
I had a stranger stop me on the street to tell me how much I look like Tyra Banks. I'm a short white woman, but thanks anyway, miss!
30. I’m Praying for That Guy’s Sanity
I had a guy rip the medical brace off my ankle, grab it with both of his hands, and pray over it. He then asked me how it felt and told me that it should be 100% healed now.
It was not.
31. He Knows Your Secret
Last month, I was at the airport, wearing a business suit, waiting for my flight home from a work trip on a Thursday afternoon. A random guy at the gate comes up to me, looks me up and down, and asks “You ride dirt bikes?” I politely tell him “no” and turn away. He starts looking at me like he knows me and continues “Really?! No motorcycles or nothin’?”
Again, I tell the guy “No, I don’t ride motorcycles either.” He responds... “I highly doubt that.” I spent the entire flight thinking about how weird that interaction was.
32. Angels and Demons
I was at a convenience store getting a soda. A girl was walking by, then suddenly stopped and her jaw dropped when she saw me. She came up and said, "You have a very angelic aura about you." I’ve never been more complimented or confused in my life.
33. Oh, the Humanity!
I was at a local Native American festival and this little kid with Coke-bottle glasses literally glided out from behind his mother and asked me, "Are you part of this festival?" in the weirdest inflection you can imagine. He sounded almost robotic and inhuman. It was a very surreal moment!
34. Building a Brand
About ten years ago, my mom and I were driving down the street. We kept hearing this person go "waaaAAAHH" in the distance, and it was getting louder. Eventually, I rolled down the window and distinctly heard someone scream out "MAAAANGO MANGO MANGO WAAAAHHHH." We turned our heads and saw a little old lady with a big box of mango popsicles waving them around to the people passing by.
I guess she was making that weird noise to get people's attention. She had no freezer, no cart, nothing but a box of popsicles and a really strange marketing tactic. My mom and I exchanged looks, stayed silent, and then absolutely lost it laughing in the car as soon as we turned off of that street. To this day, if I want to cheer my mom up, I'll slowly go “maaaango mango mango WAAAAHHHHH.” Works every time.
35. Art of the Deal
Once, I went to a Dunkin' Donuts in Philadelphia. I was with a group of friends, so we decided to buy a whole dozen to share. We did the normal song and dance of choosing our flavors, until it came time to pay. There was a large sign on the window advertising a sale, a dozen donuts for $8. I pointed at the sign, and asked if the promotion was still available.
The man at the register shook his head. He said it had expired the other day and they had just forgotten to take the sign down, but he would give us the donuts for $7 anyway. I was extremely confused, and had no idea what was happening. By the end of the interaction, we had haggled a box of Dunkin Donuts down to 2/3 of what it was supposed to cost.
36. Strangers on a Train
I was reading a book at the train station when a guy got off a train and walked right up to me. He grabbed me by the throat and then, almost as quick, let me go and laughed as he walked away. Shook me up pretty badly.
37. Shot Down
I picked a guy up in my cab who was in his early 20s, a redhead, and tatted out. He was extremely nervous, jittery to the point I wasn't sure if he had a condition or was on drugs. He sat in the front. We're driving and he's all over the place, telling me wild stories about how he makes all his money climbing dangerous construction sites around the world and posting videos to YouTube.
I believed him! Anyway, we are on the highway heading to a nearby town, when he reaches into his backpack, takes out a towel, unwraps it, and is suddenly holding a large pistol. I freeze up and feel cold and hot at the same time. He looks at me with a smile and says, "What do you think of my gun?" I can't tell whether he is being serious or if I am being held up or what, but I try to smile and say "WOW man, that gun is so cool, what kind is it? I love it, but while we are on the highway, can you put it away please?"
I could see the realization cross his face that he had been foolish, and he puts it away sheepishly. He began explaining that he was on his way to a shooting range to meet his grandfather. Then, as if this wasn’t weird enough already, we get to the shooting range and it is surrounded by cops and crime tape because there has been a SHOOTING AT THE SHOOTING RANGE.
So we turn around and drive back to his hotel. He gave me a cool $20 tip. Scary day though for multiple reasons.
38. Flattery Will Get You Nowhere
A guy on some corner near Hollywood looked me up and down as I passed by and started making noises. I was with my boyfriend at the time. The guy walked over to us and congratulated my boyfriend on locking down someone so beautiful. I had conflicting feelings about the experience.
39. All Aboard!
I was at a train station and a guy wearing a white leash sat next to me. He then offered the leash to me, and for some stupid reason, I took it. I tried to give it back and he started freaking out, so I just sat there and held this guy’s leash until my train came. He then offered me a single shoe from a bag of single shoes he had.
I tried to refuse it, but he started freaking out again. So, I accepted the battered pink high heel and got on my train.
40. Babying Her
I work in a retail store. A lady comes up to me one time to be checked out and says, “We had a baby two weeks ago, money has been tight!” Naturally, I responded “Oh congratulations! How exciting!”—when all of a sudden she says “Oh, it was a stillborn baby, it wasn’t like a normal baby.” I had no other response than “Have a nice day..."
41. Said No One Ever
My wife was pregnant and we were checking out at the grocery store. The cashier asked how she planned on delivering and suggested that my wife not take any painkillers. The cashier, who looked younger than 20, said that it felt amazing to feel her baby slide through the birth canal and suggested that my wife not miss out on that experience.
42. Who Cut the Cheese?
I was taking the hospital elevator down to go home after visiting a sick relative. A mid-50s man in a business suit stepped on as well. It was just the two of us. He started facing the back of the elevator, which immediately alerted me, and after we passed two floors, he began humming one low tone and digging through his pockets.
He then pulled his fists out of his pockets, and they were filled with shredded cheese. He had at least a full bag’s worth. This man then began sprinkling the cheese all over the floor of the elevator, while letting out this soul-crushingly low monotone humming. Out of primal fear, I pushed my body against the doors and pushed every floor before the lobby to exit.
It felt like a ten-minute ride to the next floor. I barely heard the ding over his cheese hums, but I booked it out of there and did not look back. I took the stairs the rest of the way and told security at the front desk what had happened. They said they had already discovered it and had someone sweeping up the cheese. I still need answers, ten years later.
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