4. Mind Your Own Business
This happened years ago when I was in elementary school. I was living in Florida at the time. Anyone who lives in Florida knows how often new gated communities just pop up. So our neighborhood was established and had been before I even moved into the house. The house once belonged to my uncle. We had a neighborhood watch, but no HOA.
The gated community was finally built and people were moving in. Now, we don’t have a bad neighborhood, but we had some strange colored houses. Lime green and magenta with giant metal lizards hanging all over it, for example. Our house was simple, hand brick and half concrete painted white. It stood out compared to some of the other houses.
The new gated community is an HOA community, and they thought they ruled over ALL of us. Soon people in our neighborhood were receiving fines for their house color choices, their “unsightly” cars, not approved mailboxes, and other nit-picky things. My parents received some for my dad’s boat being in the driveway and even our unruly yard.
We had a bougainvillea, which grows like crazy, and we were constantly trimming it. We even got a fine for our fence. The old fence was chain-link and the new fence was a wooden privacy fence, don’t ask why we had two different fences, my uncle only fenced-in part of the house, it was still a good fence so my dad didn’t want to rip it out.
Well, my mom and dad would just pitch anything they saw coming from that gated community, as they had fancy stationary that was easy to spot. This went on for maybe four or five months, we would receive “fines” for not meeting HOA standards and other violations. We talked to our neighbors and they received them too. They tried to call and complain.
Still, they were given the run-around and decided to pitch the mail as well. Then it all came crashing down. My mom received a phone call from her bank, and they started to question her about the lien on the house that just appeared in the system. My parents had less than a year left on their payments for the house, and they always paid extra every month for the house loan and were always on time.
My mom was super confused and said there shouldn’t be a lien, we don’t have a reason for there to be a lien. Turns out the gated community filed liens on almost every house in my neighborhood. My mom told the bank the situation and called a lawyer. At that point, a lot of the members of that HOA faced charges and it was a just huge mess with a pretty big lawsuit against the HOA board.
We were able to pay off the house after the lawsuit. We even had a big celebration on one of the roads, a huge cookout, and we met people we didn’t know before. I even made new friends with some kids that I didn’t know existed. People moved out of the gated community due to bad press and a lot of the houses stood empty for a long time. When I moved away, there were still a lot of houses empty and it was like a ghost town.
Last I heard, the name of the community changed and the houses were being filled up. So I guess the lesson is, leave our bright houses alone and mind your own business.
5. A Woman Scorned
I'll start this off by saying my ex is vindictive as heck. We've been fully divorced since about 2020. We sold the house we shared and I didn't have to pay her alimony because she cheated and we're in an at-fault state. It was messy since D-Day. All of the stereotypes. First the sobbing and then trickle truths, saying "I love you!" "It was just one time!" "Ok, it was two years!"
And then the gaslighting followed by "I'm going to take you for everything!" before packing her stuff and walking out. I feel like I never really knew the woman my ex was in all the time we were together. We were married five years and together for seven. And in two of those five married years, she had affairs with three other men. The final one being a foreign businessman of some sort from what I could find out. Somehow, it gets worse.
She got pregnant from the final affair, and no I didn't sign the birth certificate because I found out about all the affairs before the baby was born thanks to a call from the first affair partner. At that point, my ex tried to go full scorched earth on me. But since we live in and were married in an at-fault state, she lost. We didn't pay equally into our house, and the equity was divided 70/30.
So I got a pretty good cash payout when I sold our marital home to put as a down payment on a different house closer to my job. It's a bit of a downgrade, but suits a single guy in his 30s like me just fine. My ex did show up at my house once, but I refused to let her in. She whined at me that I'd financially ruined her in the divorce. I laughed so hard and said it was karma.
She yelled that she'd sue me for what was rightfully hers. I said if she was going to sue me, then to go ahead and sue me. It'd end up the same way in court because she has nothing but a false sob story. She was the cheater, not me. I'm no angel, but I didn't do anything to her, and she was the one who ruined our marriage. She then said she'd tell everyone she could that I mistreated her.
I said I'd sue her for defamation if she did. Then I let her know one crucial detail. I was recording our interaction and had those words saved to my phone. She went wide-eyed and her jaw dropped. The look people are calling the surprised Pikachu face. Then I asked why she was there, if not to just try and make trouble. After all, she had a new man in her life who knocked her up.
She just huffed at me and said he isn't around much, and she's stuck in a tiny apartment living off his child support until he comes back. It was immature of me I know, but I did the bit of playing the world's smallest violin. She yelled at me to go screw myself, and I yelled back that I'd sooner do that than her any time. She raged at me and then got in her car to leave.
Haven't seen her since. Ok, so there is an HOA in my neighborhood. But I was not legally obligated to join it because the last owner of my house was not a member. I made sure of that through a real estate lawyer as well. The HOA had no grounds to force me to join, and they were not happy about it. The HOA president would show up with forms every week for the first month demanding I sign them.
Then she threatened to take me to court. When that didn’t work, she tried more cunning methods. She started harassing me by looking for any infractions she possibly could to report to the city. An inspector came out several times and found nothing wrong. In fact, I offered one of them a burger while grilling, and they graciously accepted.
Did I mention the HOA hates barbecues and parties that aren't approved in advance? Well, they do. And I like to grill when the weather is good. And my neighbors actually love me for it because I invite them over. I had the authorities called on me several times for noise complaints because I was playing music on a Saturday afternoon while having my friends over.
I caught the HOA president trespassing once, trying to peer into my windows. I called the authorities, but she denied ever doing it. So, I came up with a plan. I got cameras. She hasn't trespassed since. But I still got repeated passive-aggressive letters saying my cameras were not an approved addition to my house. Some months ago, I started getting letters for fines in the mail.
When I contacted the HOA, their representative claimed they had it on record that I'd joined, and needed to pay all fees effective immediately. I told them that was not possible. Then they emailed a scanned copy of the forms, and they had a signature on them. As I looked, my heart stopped. The signature was not mine. It was very similar in some ways, and I recognized it right away as being my ex's handwriting.
She knew what my signature looked like. But it was a loose imitation at best. I got in touch with a lawyer right away over the forged signature. But the HOA still demanded to go to court, which took seven months before that happened. Meanwhile, they were stacking unpaid fines against me weekly and were constantly threatening to put a lien on my house.
We went to court and the HOA president looked very smug. But my lawyer pointed out how the signature wasn't the same as mine and was very inconsistent in the various forms. I'd never allowed the HOA president in my house, and I'd never requested the forms. I couldn’t believe the woman’s response. The idiot HOA president actually slammed her palm on the table and said it was still binding.
When pressed where the fraudulent signature came from, she admitted my ex-wife called the HOA and they sent her the forms, then got them back in the mail signed. But then she actually claimed she'd thought I'd signed them. The judge looked at her and asked if she was serious. She confirmed she was. The judge then asked how a woman I was no longer married to, that had never even lived with me in my current residence, was supposed to have any bearing on whether or not I joined her HOA.
She went quiet and I could see the “Oh, shoot” look on her face as the hamster wheels were turning and she seemed to finally mentally put the pieces together. My lawyer then counterclaimed that what the HOA did was wrong, and actions must be taken. And they were. I countersued the HOA for the emotional distress of the harassment I'd gotten since moving in.
Which, by the way, I had lots of proof of. That won me about ten grand that I decided to put towards my mortgage. The HOA president was removed from her throne. I like to think she went kicking and screaming. She was also slapped with a hefty fine. I've seen her outside a few times, and she always looks at me like I am the devil. The HOA itself had to pay all of my lawyer fees too.
After that, I wanted to go after my ex for forging my signature, but I can't because not long after she forged my signature on those forms, she apparently left the country to be with her third affair partner. She's somewhere in Europe from what I can see of the final posts on her Facebook before she disappeared. So I can't do anything against her unless she ever returns to the US.
That was a wash, but I'm not getting letters from the HOA anymore though. The new president has promised to keep things completely cordial from now on. I still don't feel like I got much of a win in this though. Other than the 10k payout it all felt like a huge waste of time.
6. A Simple Problem
So, some quick backstory to this. I don't live within an HOA (thank the divines), but I have had dealings with them. I studied environmental engineering in college and have a degree with a specialization in water treatment systems. Normally, though, that's not my day job. Even so, recently, a friend of mine who works with one of the neighboring cities asked me if I wouldn't mind doing some tests for water pollution in a waterfowl preservation area.
There had been some strange die-off events going on, and the city was trying to figure out where the source of the pollution was coming from. I'd be operating under a special contract from the city, and was given access to any location along this waterfowl area (within reason) to perform my tests. I won't go into detail about how the tests work, but suffice it to say that I started taking water and soil samples from likely sources along the waterfowl preserve's borders.
This showed me that there was a notable amount of nitrates and phosphates in the water, which I surmised was affecting the birds. Now to find the source. I followed the river up its length, passing a number of housing sites, a couple of apartments, and the odd settling pond. Over the course of several weeks, and a barrage of tests, these were ruled out as sources.
The further I went up the river, though, I got more alarmed. The further up, the stronger the concentrations became. To the point that it was dangerous for humans to even be in contact with the water. We're talking "super fund" type pollution. This was last summer. As I waded up along this area, I heard some splashing and the sounds of kids playing in the water.
Not good…not good at all. Turning the bend, I come face to face with a small dock leading into the water, and four or five kids taking turns jumping off it into the water. The heavily polluted, dangerous water. There's some lady sitting on the dock watching them, and I approached her. I forget the exchange, but it boiled down to me telling her I'm from the city.
I said that based on some of what had been found, the children were banned from swimming in the river. The lady tried arguing the point, until I told her I was calling the Marshal to have the area barricaded off, and she could explain her complaints to him. She grabbed the kids and scuttled off. The Marshal did arrive, found that the dock wasn't built with proper code standards, and condemned it.
This forced the HOA who had built it to have it demolished within the week (or the city was going to do it and they'd still front the bill). That still left the matter of the pollution. That's where things got weird. Once I passed this HOA subdivision, all pollution vanished. I must have done five or six further tests to verify this, but yeah, no pollution.
So I had my culprit. The next question was figuring out what they were doing. That's where my investigative side comes in. With the help of the Marshal, I started going around the properties of the HOA, talking with residents. It was a few simple questions like "Do you know if they're fertilizing the grass", and "When do they do this" and "Do you know the type of fertilizer they use?"
Just gathering evidence. Remember the lady from earlier? Turned out she was the HOA president. I only found this out after she called the authorities on the Marshal and I, reporting strange “men” wandering around her neighborhood. She called them something like four times in a day before the officers flat-out told her "They work with the city, and if you keep calling, we're charging you".
That didn't stop her from following us around in her car and taking photos with her phone. Eventually, we spoke with one older gentleman. This is what broke the case. The HOA president had been fining people for not having perfectly green grass. We were in a drought at the time, so that's no surprise there. After several of the people in the subdivision got fined by the city for watering their grass, she had taken matters into her own hands.
She'd first tried contracting a landscaper to spray the lawns with fertilizer, but due to various EPA regulations, he'd apparently refused. The homeowner gentleman couldn't be certain what the lady had done next, but a couple days after that, some guys turned up with a large farm-type trailer of liquid, and sprayed every single foot of grass the HOA controlled.
Even right down to the water's edge. With the homeowner's permission, I took several soil samples from around his property, and then samples from the common area that joined the grassy area beside the river (and dock). It took about a week to get the full results back, but I had my answer. This lady had some contractors or someone spraying farm-grade fertilizer on the grass.
This particular fertilizer is heavily controlled by the EPA and requires a special license to even possess, much less use. I presented all my evidence to my contact at the city and laid out just how serious the damage was, and that I was legally obligated to report the HOA to the state regulatory board for gross violations. My contact took the papers and paid me for my services, thanking me, but also noting that if this went to court, I would need to testify about my findings.
The court was originally scheduled for March of 2020, but it never came to that. The HOA president entered a plea deal with the state, where she and the HOA was required to pay for the environmental cleanup of the river, as well as restitution to the state. The fines alone topped close to a quarter of a million dollars, and the cleanup (still ongoing) is expected to break a million itself.
The HOA president got the boot, while the HOA itself was (last I heard) facing being dissolved by the state due to multiple cases of negligence and inept management. I don't know how they came in contact with that fertilizer, though I suspect some of the charges against the HOA president had something to do with that. Want to know the sad thing though?
If the HOA had simply contacted the city, or the state, they would have been given a list of approved fertilizers to use, which both wouldn't have polluted the surrounding water, and wouldn't have put them on the hook for an environmental disaster. The number is right on the city and state's website. The HOA just couldn't be bothered to look it up.
7. Standing Up For The Little Guy
This story takes place in Ontario, in the city of Kawartha Lakes –one of the worst municipalities in all of Ontario in which to live. There's poverty, addiction, a culture of prideful ignorance, and partisan voters that will vote against their best interests time and time again. The city council are also looting their tax base to provide free educational opportunities for unqualified staffers they hired.
They are holding secret meetings behind the public's back and in one case spent $140k to fight a lawsuit that was levied against them after they blocked a brand new business’s access road because some city council members owned a competing businesses. They were fined $70k and spent another $70k of taxpayer dollars to appeal and lose in the end.
That's all backstory. Suffice it to say it's a city run by uneducated rubes and inhabited by the most apathetic voters I've ever encountered. My old man was an original property owner of an unassumed road for 50+ years. For the uninitiated, this means that although the city owned the road, they are not responsible for maintenance, grooming, etc. beyond the scope of the limited-service agreement they made with a single property owner.
By the way, we later found forged signatures claiming that one owner represented the entire road. This all basically meant they would do two gradings per year, though they only actually provided one. About 20 years ago, some citiots (city idiots) moved up on the road and decided they would create an HOA. It was a total nightmare from the very beginning.
They didn't get insured, they didn't incorporate, and they thought they could go around forging signatures on city documents and charging residents money for essentially nothing. It all came to a head about 10 years ago when my dad refused to pay them until the two chuckleheads in charge showed him how they spent the money. Oh boy, this started something.
Rather than provide a fair accounting of the neighborhood funds, the "president" and the "treasurer" both decided they wanted to sue for the money "owing”. Well, we went to court and it turns out that you don't just get to declare yourself the head of an association that doesn't exist. Turns out you also can't collect money from the residents and spend it on cookware and paying their unqualified, uninsured friends to do roadwork.
Turns out perjury is frowned on in a small claims court. They found out the hard way. I discovered in their court filings examples of perjury and general dishonesty. They manufactured documents and got caught doing so. They were given multiple options to settle in court, but turned them all down, instead choosing to self-destruct in the most absurd and stubborn way available to them.
None of their witnesses showed up, they brought literally no evidence with them to court, instead relying on the phrase "it's not rocket science", and they somehow assumed the judge would accept "it's not rocket science" as some kind of evidence or as somehow lending credibility to their claims. He didn't. The HOA lost and ended up owing us money.
The HOA dissolved immediately afterward, and if the story ended there, it would make sense, but not be a very interesting story. But you're not here for just a "good guys win" story, you want satisfaction. Well, I’m about to blow your mind. Turns out one of those two old men that fancied themselves in charge of the HOA couldn't accept defeat.
Our driveway lights started to disappear, and someone was blocking the culvert in the middle of the night and washing out the road in front of my dad's house. Minor vandalism was happening almost on a nightly basis. So, I came home late one night, and sure enough, this 70-year-old moron is thrashing about in the April temperature swamp, having fallen in after blocking the culvert. He got his shirt tangled in an underwater branch and can't get out.
We had to haul him out because he was so tipsy and suffering from hypothermia that he couldn't even move. Then we called the authorities. He got yelled at and no driveway lights ever went missing again, and the officers me keep the trash can lid he was using to block the culvert. Free lid! Moral of this story is don't take any flack from an HOA. They may look official, but I'll bet you most HOAs are doing something shady that will reflect poorly on them in court should you find yourself at odds with them.
8. The Fast And The Furious
I’ve been dealing with this for the last three months and it has FINALLY reached its climax. for a little back story, I own a towing company and am currently renting a home within an HOA. I was NOT informed of this when I signed the lease. My wife and I broke ground on our dream home days before lockdown went into effect last year. We signed a two-year lease as we were offered a $250 reduction in rent if we did.
The house has a three-car garage attached to it, as well as parking for an additional two cars in the driveway. I keep my tow truck in the driveway or parked on the street in front of the house as it is classified as an "emergency vehicle" by the state and not merely a commercial vehicle. This means it is not against the HOA to have it in the neighborhood.
We also own many cars as all three people living in the home are car nuts. Now, we do not keep that all at the home, but we do have a total of six cars at the home, plus the tow truck, which means two vehicles are always parked on the street. All of the imported cars have wide body kits that cost between 4 and 12 grand—this is important as to the value of the vehicles as well as looks.
After living here for just over nine months, we get punched in the face by the HOA that we had absolutely no idea existed. They started by ticketing the tow truck that is parked on the street, stating that it cannot be parked there. Okay, I'll put it in the driveway no problem. pay the $150 fine to the HOA after getting the contract from the landlord and reading it.
I figure it's best to just go along with it and not ruffle any feathers. By moving the tow truck into the driveway, I started parking my RX7 on the streets. My two classic cars are kept in the garage, as well as the BRZ as it is my project car and I’m in the middle of building a very high-end drift car out of it. The other two people in my house drive the BMW and Nissan every day.
The very next day, I return home to another smack in the face. There are tickets on both the RX7 and the Silvia, which are parked on the street by our driveway. Now, numerous neighbors are also parked on the street without tickets from the HOA. I immediately call the jerk in "charge" of the HOA to ask what the heck going on. He tells me that our "junk" is devaluing the neighborhood.
He says it cannot be parked on the streets and cites a rule in the HOA guidelines about vehicles being in disrepair. I laughed, a full-on gut chuckle. The guy I'm talking to drives an early 2000s Cadillac that may be worth 10k. He tells me that if the vehicles continue to be parked on the street, he will have them towed. Okay, let’s play. I’m ready.
I told him that he needs to read his own manual and look at the vehicles he is talking about. Clearly, both cars are not in disarray. 10 days after the initial ticketing, he calls for a tow truck. This is where I should mention that the reason my tow truck is listed as an emergency vehicle is because my company has the county police contract for their towing, as well as the township.
When small-guy towing shows up to impound my vehicles when I am not home, I get a call from the company to inform me about it—we know each other from the businesses we operate and I often kick him work when we are holding over a 90-minute ETA to not upset customers. He tells me that he HAS to tow my cars due to his contract with the HOA.
However, he doesn't have a truck that can tow these lowered cars without damaging them. He asks me to come home and remove the bumpers so they will go on his truck. I told him that it wasn't going to happen and I’d hate to look for another towing company to send overflow work to, all while we see how the courts feel about the impounding and potential damages to the cars.
He wisely decides to not tow the vehicles. Now, this was October of 2020. Since then, my towing friend has called me dozens of times about the HOA jerk calling him repeatedly to tow the vehicles. He tells the guy that the only company in the area that can tow these vehicles is my company. FINALLY it happens. The jerk calls my company to impound MY cars.
Okay, no problem. I sent three of my guys over in the shop pickup to drive my cars back to the shop, where they were parked and kept for the last month. The wife started driving the Impala regularly as it is summer. On Friday, we went to small claims court as I sued the HOA for towing costs, about $250 per vehicle, as well as storage on each vehicle, $62 per day each, AND an additional $3,000 for inconveniences due to not having the cars for daily transportation.
Add on an additional $1,500 for lawyer fees. After roughly five minutes, the judge asks for photos from the HOA jerk of the cars, and he gives the judge photos. The judge comments on how nice the cars are and that they clearly are not in disarray. I thank the judge and ask him if he can see the Cadillac parked on the street way in the background of the photo, as well as the other five or six cars in frame.
The judge affirms this and asks the jerk about these cars. The jerk states that they are NOT in disarray and even coughs up that the Cadillac is his car. The judge smiles a toothy grin. Then he makes a confession that delights me. He confesses to being a car guy and estimates that each of the two cars that have been impounded are worth $50k and that the jerk's Cadillac would clearly be the eyesore of the community.
The judge then dismisses the HOA's claims and explicitly tells the jerk that he is NOT to tow any vehicles out of the neighborhood without third-party confirmation of their disarray or abandonment. The judge goes further and states that the HOA is in violation of the township ordinance, as the streets are NOT private streets but belong to the township.
The judge then grabs what I assume is a calculator and starts punching away. After about a minute and a half of pure silence, the judge looks up and says "Okay, as stated before the claim for the HOA has been dismissed, as for the countersuit, I will rule in favor in the amount of $10,100 and $65.50 in court costs to the HOA”. The jerk lost his freaking mind.
He went on a rant about communism? And how the judge was the problem with this country and into election conspiracies and every wack job theory you'd hear. The judge warned him twice and finally ordered him in contempt and invited him to have a weekend stay on the county’s dime. He will be home tonight as the judge is set to release him at 6 pm.
The cars are back in their original spots and I cannot wait for the hand wave and grin as he comes home this evening.
9. No Means No
I do not live in an HOA but we still have a "neighborhood region" as designated by the city. Once a month anyone who wants to gets together with our local PD neighborhood relations officer, and usually our district city council rep. As you can imagine, we have a few people who are the type who would dream of being on an HOA board.
We had that monthly meeting a few days ago and one of my most "lovely" neighbors shows up with this guest in a bit of a suit. After the routine stuff, she points out that she filed to have time to speak. She gets up, introduces the guy, and starts talking about how she would like for us to listen to him explain the benefits of bonding our neighborhood together in an HOA.
I'm sitting up front as usual and could not help but blurt out “screw HOAs" while trying not to laugh. She looks surprised, stares at me, and says "excuse me?" So I popped to my feet "Okay". I went off on her. "Most of us are fighting to make it month to month, and we will have to pay a few hundred extra to some suit for what might sound good but guess what?”
I took a deep breath here. “Trash can on curb past 7 am on pick up day or out before 11 pm the night before? Get a fine. Lawn over two inches high for more than 24 hours? Get a fine. House does not match the stipulated paint colors? Get a fine and fix it within 14 days. Feed the stray cats (looking at a lady who does so)? Get a fine." I look to another neighbor.
"Put out winter protective boxes so the strays don't freeze? Get a fine per box”. The neighbor kept trying to interrupt but I ignored her. "Working on your car in your own drive, yep another fine, per day. And guess what? You fall behind, they put a lien on your house, put you out and either rebuild it or tear it down and build something new to up-sale and eventually push as many people out as possible to replace us and ‘elevate’ the neighborhood, all while making themselves rich off stealing our properties”.
“I'll never sign anything. Judy?" The room looked back at her like they were looking to hurt her. Needless to say, it went nowhere. The suit tried to talk up his points but I had counters to everything he threw out.
10. Lording It Over
I own my downstairs condo and have been complaining about the tenant above me who has been renting for about two years. Beginning in March this year, the management office sent a hearing notice to her, allowing her to plead her case. Depending on the results, they'll fine (or won't fine) the owner, her landlord. So far I have three reports, two with security footage documenting her being a nuisance, and I had officers come by.
The manager suggested that I shouldn't attend the hearing to avoid any kind of confrontation with the tenant. Last time, the manager warned me again that a hearing does not guarantee a fine and wanted to set that expectation. When I told him about the report, his tone changed and he said this can help. The hearing makes the decision, but I think my documentation is better than hers.
Honestly, I would prefer to not attend the hearing because I don't want to be too defensive or reactive in front of the committee. Anyway, I decided to call her landlord because I found it odd that after she got the first warning last year and the hearing notice recently, he wouldn’t have tried to give her any kind of warning himself. The last time I spoke to him was almost two years ago when the last tenant moved out and he replaced the carpeting.
I haven’t reached out to him since because his last words were there’s “nothing else” he can do.
11. Evil And Incompetent
My great grandfather purchased 3,000 acres in Florida in the 1800s. It has been in the family and a working farm ever since. After my father passed, the land was divided between my brother, sister, and me. My brother and sister sold their portions to a development company. At the same time, I purchased a neighboring 850 acres. After the development company built up the area with single-family homes, they transferred control to a new HOA.
It was at this time that unstamped letters began appearing in my mailbox. The first was an introduction of the new HOA and included about a 20-page handbook with so many rules and regulations. Since my family land predates the HOA by well over 120 years, I am not obliged to join any such group. So I ignore the letters and start marking them "return to sender".
Now, this alerts my postal carrier, who questions who put unstamped mail in the mailbox. He took those letters and went to have a conversion with the HOA about the use of the mailbox. One more thing: I wasn't using the farm fully, but instead I had at the time about a dozen rescue animals as well as three-quarter horses. I arrived home one day to a strange sight.
There was a pair of cars at the entrance of my driveway, blocking my access. My driveway is almost 1/4 mile long, though, so I parked and walked. At my house I found my wife arguing with three people (two men and a woman) who are demanding to be allowed their rights to search my property inside and out. After a quick briefing, I inform my trespassers of their violations.
I then give them 10 minutes to get off my property and move their cars before I tow and impound them. These self-righteous individuals were not budging. So I walk to one of my barns and start up something inside. I back out with an older model Holmes tow truck and start backing down the driveway. These three ran to get into their cars and were gone before I got to the end of the driveway.
Now this would be nice if it ended there, but then it would not be much of a story. It got so much worse. I then started receiving fines. Yes, in the mail and unstamped! I actually had to get the local postmaster involved. I even got a fine for calling the postmaster on them. (Eventually, the HOA had to pay a $10,000 fine for unauthorized use of the USPS system).
Fast forward about six months, and my wife notices that there is a lien on the house and property. This is where I contacted a property rights attorney, who immediately filed with the local government. It took a couple of months, but the lien was dismissed when the originator failed to show up to a hearing. But it does not end here! Oh no, it does not.
I received a large packet that came in certified mail, detailing all the fines I have incurred since the HOA came into existence. And they demanded immediate payment. Included in this was a $500 fine for not signing the handbook, a $1,000 fine for not allowing board members access to search my property, and a $10,000 fine for repayment of the fine the HOA had to pay for the HOA breaking the federal maul law.
And the list goes on and on. My attorney laughed and sent a cease and desist letter as well as a demand that all further correspondence must be direct to her office. That lasted about six months, until my wife again noticed a new lien on the property. What the heck, I thought? So back to my attorney and more laughing. Turns out the HOA put a lien on the land I purchased, which is still separate from the family land.
And so we repeat the steps above. During this time, my wife was in the hospital for the delivery of our second child and everyone was there to support her. Seizing their opportunity, the HOA trespassed again and started searching through my property, including its barns, garage, and outbuildings. They even tried towing several vehicles that I had on the land that were "not licensed".
Yeah, they are for farm use. Picture a rusty old pickup used to haul hay and feed. An old car with no doors we use to check out the field and search for animals. In this instance, they were caught in the act by the local sheriff's deputy, who was just doing a drive-by. I chose not to press charges. However, this still infuriated the HOA and another large packet arrived with more fines on top of all the previous fines. Another trip to my attorney and more laughing.
This time, she contacts the county clerk’s office and manages to stop another lien that was in the process of being posted. This time in order to post the lien, the HOA would need to show up at a hearing and explain. Yep, they did not show and the lien vanished.
12. Some People ARE Out To Get You
Back when I was 18, I was helping my cousin, who is white, and his newlywed wife, who is Black, move into their new home that has an HOA. I was carrying boxes into the house and I was covered in sweat. As I was enjoying some rest with a bottle of water, one of the HOA members came up to me to introduce himself. We exchanged pleasantries and then he asked, "How long have you and your husband been married?"
I told him to please wait and brought in the actual married couple to meet the HOA member. They came out and the man's face dropped. He then faked a phone call from the HOA and left. We didn't know anything was wrong at the time. Not even a week after they moved in, I get a call on my cell phone from my cousin. He said that officers were raiding his house for possible substances.
I know my cousin. He has the record of a boy scout. Every time he gets a prescription for pain medication, he either shreds the note or dumps the unused pills in the toilet due to fear of addiction. The officers found nothing and left, though they did apologize. The very next day, his wife was stopped by officers in her own driveway. They said that she was suspected of selling her body!
This, even though she was wearing a pantsuit from her job as a cardiologist. They called her hospital to confirm her whereabouts and she was let go. They came back the day after that, after someone claimed that his wife was breaking into their own home. How can someone break into their home through the front door and with their OWN keys?
After a month, the HOA came up to them claiming that they are a nuisance and attempted to put a lien on the house for so many calls to the authorities. Luckily, my cousin's brother is a lawyer and fought against the lien in court. At court, the HOA member that met the couple on Day One was revealed to be the one that sent the officers after them so they can be kicked out of the neighborhood. The whole story came out then.
As it turns out, that person testified that he didn't want "their kind" in his perfect neighborhood. Everyone in that room was dumbstruck. The HOA lawyer immediately dropped the case and apologized to my cousin and his wife. That HOA member was kicked out of the neighborhood for his views. Apparently, he also called the authorities on every black and brown person that even passed by his house.
Since then, they moved out of the neighborhood after my cousin’s wife got a better job offer in her field.
13. Starting All Over
My wife and I bought a house in an HOA back in May of 2020. We bought it from family and were told the HOA is very relaxed. Basically, you pay your dues and submit the proper documentation when doing major changes to the house and landscaping, and that’s it. We received the rules and regulations when we bought the house and it was very generic.
Nothing in it mentioned security cameras and motion lights. Well, this past Monday my father-in-law and I finally installed two security cameras with lights. We had to run new electric lines due to the house not coming with a doorbell. Tuesday afternoon, we received a warning about modifications to the house without prior approval. We already had four motion sensor lights up months prior to installing the camera.
I figured they just wanted a statement or something similar to explain why we put up the new system. I submit the statement and don't hear anything back for a couple of days. The response I finally got was that the cameras needed to be removed, paperwork submitted, and then they can be re-installed. After spending six hours running wire and installing the system, I'm not pulling it down.
I will not be changing anything until I get a response to my submission. If it wasn't mentioned in the rules and regulations, I figure they really don't have a leg to stand on in general.
14. The Letter Of The Law
This was in the mid-90s, when I owned a condo in Las Vegas. I bought it new and lived in it. I do not recall how long I had lived there when I received a letter from the HOA asking me for my address. I just ignored it. A few weeks or so later, I received an infuriating package. It was a letter stating I had been fined $100 for not “returning” that other letter.
I went down to the office to visit the HOA president. And said exactly this to him: "The only way I will pay this fine is through judgment. Because I want to see you explain to a judge how you sending a letter to my address to verify my address and then fining me because you did not receive a response is going to fly with a judge”. The reaction was priceless.
He thought for a minute, then conversed with the other person there, then said to her “Could we have misplaced his letter? Ok, no fine”. He just was completely unwilling to admit he was in the wrong, but he obviously didn’t want to go to court, either.
15. Live And Learn
I’m a man, and I’m 41 years old now. As a bachelor of 25, I grew tired of living in a low-rent apartment surrounded by less than lawful individuals and decided that a mortgage at the time would be only a little more per month than rent and would make a great investment. This turned out to be an enormous mistake. Oh, to go back in time and give myself a talk.
What I learned was that living in an HOA only makes you a glorified renter, and at the end of the day you basically own nothing. The condo I purchased was very nice. Three-bedroom, two-bath, vaulted ceilings, thick walls. I was pretty impressed with myself. Unfortunately, the HOA was not well managed. The board was nothing more than puppets for the management company who might as well have been the landlord.
It was a large HOA. 26 buildings with 12 units each. I learned in comparison to friends that this was a good thing as it meant assessment fees were more spread out. When I moved in, I didn’t know about assessment fees and I was barely educated on the HOA fee. One of the selling points was the low HOA fee, which was only $80 a month. Or so I thought.
I later found out the developer, who was still finishing the last four buildings, supplemented the fee to keep it low so he could sell more units. The nightmare didn’t end there. I also didn’t know that my HOA was a sub-HOA, which means it was an HOA inside an HOA. So I had to pay the master HOA another $25.00 a month to do nothing at all, literally nothing.
The sub-HOA did all the internal maintenance and the city itself took care of the communal areas like the public roads. Meanwhile, my subHOA board was full of out-of-state Southern Californians in a snow-heavy state. My first year there, they budgeted $2,000 dollars for snow removal and $45,000 for beautification—new wood chips and remodeling the clubhouse.
Meanwhile, the snow removal fee alone came to $35,000. At the HOA meeting to vote on how to pay the $35,000 snow fee, they banned anyone from talking about how we got into that mess and anyone who did was detained for disorderly conduct. Eventually, they voted on a snow assessment fee. The amount was eye-popping. It came to $350 for each unit.
Later, I learned the plow company was owned by the management company owner’s relative. That plow guy came out if there was a barely visible frost on the ground and charged us $100 per “push”—every time he backed up and drove forward. Eventually, the HOA board was replaced and they replaced the management company with a new company. Somehow, this was worse.
The new company liked to play with the pool keys and charge you to turn them back on. They always tried to claim your card was read at the pool during an unauthorized time, or that the card you were using was a fake that they didn’t issue. Then the bottom dropped out. The 2008 recession hit without them selling the last of the units. At that point, the developer backed out of supplementing the fees and the fee jumped to $65, and then $100 the next year.
Probably even higher later, but I moved out. The developer screwed up and didn’t have room to give the last building or so their two parking spots. So now the HOA wanted to revoke everyone’s second spot. Problem was, the second spot was on my mortgage and by-laws provided for a second spot. The HOA dropped the revoked spot idea but I do not know how they eventually solved it.
Lastly, I overpaid my HOA every month for dues, placing me several hundred over as insurance against the next assessment fee. So I paid a little amount for the HOA to install a screen on my dryer vent to keep the birds out, against my credit. I also paid for several upgrades inside to sell the place. Unfortunately, when I tried to sell, the recession was at its worst.
I sold at a loss to get out of there and buy a house. The final straw hit me hard. The last insult of this HOA was to claim I never paid for the screen on my dryer vent and that I owed a few hundred in back HOA fees. If I didn’t pay, they would place a lien on me, which would mess with the condo I sold and the house I was buying. I paid the ransom and walked away from that dumpster fire.
The good news is the house I bought has no HOA and has tripled in value. I do know the master HOA was eventually sued by all the sub-HOAs and dissolved because they did nothing but rent an office down the street. I’ve also run into people who still own in my old sub-HOA and yes, the fee is now much higher.
16. For The Greater Good
I used to think our HOA is pretty good. The fees aren’t that high for houses (less than $30 per month) and a little higher for the condos. The pool is pretty decent and not that far away. But then the infamous day came. We decided to put solar panels on our house. When HOA told me that we were not allowed to do that, we naturally asked why.
They said it would ruin the “aesthetic” of the neighborhood. Well, guess what? The solar panel company told us that that was an illegal reason. They actually have a department that has to argue with HOAs all the time. Even so, it took two months before we finally got the OK to put the solar panels in.
17. Easy As Bye
My wife and I have been getting harassed by a new HOA to join, as my house is the lone holdout on a beach-front strip. With my highly evolved ape brain, I have spent the weekend scouring the laws and loopholes. I have now, through a series of quantum calculations that will only make sense to me, found the means to kill an HOA anywhere.
Step one: Organize your community and friends at the next meeting and have someone or yourself call for no-confidence and vote to remove all HOA board members. Then vote in new members. Step two: Have a new president. Vote to overturn all standing fines, then end the meeting with a vote to dissolve the HOA in it entirety. Any properties owned by the HOA are to be sold to pay off any debts owed by HOA.
Record everything. Then turn a copy of the video into the governing body of where you live. As proof. Ta-da.
18. Take A Walk
When I was two, my dad bought the house I grew up in. It was a major fixer-upper. In total, he probably put $100,000 fixing it up, if not more. So this is where the story comes in. The city building inspector informed my dad that because it was documented that he spent over $50,000 improving his property, he would have to build a sidewalk too. There was an even bigger catch.
It was supposed to be only in front of his house and would come out of his pocket. Also, if anyone injured themselves on the sidewalk that abruptly started and abruptly ended, he’d be responsible for that as well. He also had to pay for upkeep, and it would cut about three feet into the front yard and would permanently lower the property value. Yes, really.
Now at the time that this happened, the city had completely renovated a park playground costing well over the $50,000. This was public knowledge. The park was within viewing distance of our house and had two historic trees within feet of the road. So my dad wrote a letter to the mayor’s office. He worded the cover letter in a way such that they would have to publicly read the entire letter out loud during a public meeting.
The letter basically said to lead by example and put in a sidewalk at the newly renovated park, meaning they’d have to cut down the two historic trees. The public was outraged. After that, the building inspector basically let him renovate the house however he liked. There is still no sidewalk.
19. V Is For Vendetta
Well over a decade ago, I was forced to move back in with my dad. I was only planning to stay a few months, until I was financially stable enough to get my own place once again, but my dad insisted I stay rent-free while I got my car paid off and some serious dental work done. This lasted four years. My dad owns a really nice place in a subdivision that had an HOA.
For about two of those four years, things went fine...until it turned into a horror show. It all started when a woman who I shall aptly call Karen became head of the HOA. Me and Karen had many unfortunate run-ins in the past. She would constantly ask my dad how long until I move out. Then she would always report me and my dad to the HOA for the silliest things.
They were so stupid, the HOA would usually ignore them, or at best dismiss them after getting our side of the story. Bu now that she was in control, she took direct action. The first was to declare me an "unauthorized border" after instituting a by-law that all adults 21 and older in a household must be registered with the HOA as permanent residents. They also had to stay a minimum of five years or risk penalizing the homeowner.
My dad refused to do any such thing because I would eventually be getting my own place. But Karen insisted, even serving him two years of backdated penalties for having me there. My dad ended up having to spend money on a lawyer to send her a cease-and-desist order because I was legally grandfathered in, since I was there before the by-law. Of course, the fines were begrudgingly dropped, but it didn’t stop there.
Afterward, she would try to nickel and dime my dad with constant little things like me being out at all hours of the night (I worked late) or the way I dressed in public being inappropriate (jeans and band t-shirts mostly), and other stupid stuff, most of which weren't in the by-laws. She even took to using a selfie stick over the fence to see if there was anything in the backyard violating the rules.
I since moved out of there and a year or so later, Karen was voted out of the HOA after ticking off the wrong people.
20. Peeping Tom
My co-worker’s neighbor behind him has been reporting him to their HOA for months now and getting them fined for literally nothing. The latest issue was having a firepit on the back porch. The by-law mentions you can't have an open fire or have firepits in use, but grills are allowed... but the issue here is that the firepit isn't even in use and never has been.
Also, the picture presented to show the fireplace on the back porch comes from that neighbor’s security camera...that is directly pointed at my co-worker’s house. Like, the entire view of the camera is all of only his property and nothing else. The houses are separated by an alleyway, too. This neighbor spies on him regularly. He sees him looking out at them all the time, day and night.
He also trespasses on other people’s property to find reasons to report them. Ridiculous.
21. Destroyer Of Worlds
So this happened almost 10+ years ago but has cemented my hatred for HOAs. My family is from Guam, (a small Pacific island and US territory) where there aren't many, if any, HOAs. We moved stateside around 2001-2002 when my dad decided he wanted to. My parents had good jobs and made good money and decent credit. We lived in Tennessee for a while.
Then one time we drove up to Indiana to visit some family, and I guess my dad liked it so much he decided to move there. Our house was very modest but a bit more "extra" than most because it was part of an HOA. After a few months living there, my dad noticed a crack in the garage (poor foundation) and notified our builder. The HOA was still being built so he was easy to find.
The builder said he'd take a look. What he found was so messed up. We come to find out that not only was the foundation poorly set, but the plot of land it was on was sinking. My parents were told that in order to fix it, it would cost more than their home loan because of the condition of the land it was on. The builder suggested that they pay him 25% percent, cash, of the home’s value and he'll build them a new house with their current mortgage cut down 25% as a good-faith gesture.
As you're reading this, you're probably thinking: That can't be right. That's not how that works. Well, you're right, but we made a huge mistake. Being from a small island where you can trust someone at their word, it didn't occur to my parents to question it or get a lawyer’s advice. So our new house is built, nicer than our previous home, and not sinking.
Life is good for a while—until we had to go on an extended trip due to a family emergency. Luckily at this point we've been living there for years and my parents made some friends. We would've just left but one of their friends let them know that they needed to inform the HOA that some lawn and garden standards wouldn't be kept up due to the trip.
Yes, my parents should've read the by-laws, but at first they were excited to own a home so they never did. At the time of the emergency they weren't thinking about anything but getting back to Guam. So my parents think that a face-to-face with the HOA board would be good enough to inform them of the issue, and they did just that. They told them during an HOA meeting, that's it.
Our trip took a little while longer than expected. The whole summer and part of the first school year, but we finally got home. We got home to a nightmare. Waiting at our door were countless letters, warnings, fines, and more fines. I don't exactly remember what the total was but it really doesn't matter. My parents were broke, they spent their savings getting us to and from Guam and paying the mortgage, so yeah no back fund.
My parents went straight to the HOA for answers. Basically, it boiled down to the “fact” they didn't notify the HOA for the reason for the drop in standards, so they claimed they were well within their rights to post fines. Here’s the worst part. They put a lien on our home. My parents barely covered the mortgage and the trip to Guam, remember. This was a disaster,
They tried reasoning with them, until eventually, they went to court. As you're guessing, it didn't go well. The HOA board hung on to the fact that my parents didn't send an email and wait for board approval. They won. My parents were forced to pay the lien while also paying the mortgage. At first, my parents were optimistic, but it got to the point where it was pay the mortgage/fines or feed my brothers and I.
They fell further behind and were starting to fight about it. It became too much for them, and they had to walk away from our home. My mom was devastated, and my dad felt like a failure. I was old enough to understand what was going on but my brothers didn't know why we had to leave our home. The whole ordeal destroyed my parents’ credit, wiped out their savings, and cost my parents their good jobs.
My mom’s job in finances required good credit and my dad had to work closer to home because of the financial situation. I don't think there's any way they can recover from what they walked away from, but they're not fighting and don't have to choose between paying rent and feeding my brother. The whole experience made me really hate HOAs. I will never move my family into one if I can help it.
22. You’ve Got The Wrong Guy
My HOA is fining me for parking in the Visitors Parking area…but the car is not mine. They will not believe me, and refuse to remove the fine. In fact, they are now adding on late fees.
23. A House Of Cards
I’m in Canada and am working on an apartment. We have had multiple meetings with the local HOA to get approvals for how the material looks, the color, even how it all goes together. I work in architectural sheet metal. Anyways, we have been working on this building for about two months. We made it up to the 6th floor and are securing the cap metal with standing seams, wing clips, and smash pins.
That’s about when the HOA representative comes out onto the scaffolding. What he said left me dumbfounded. He promptly says "Take off all the cap flashing. I don’t like the standing seams because it ruins my view and the views of the residents. Don’t you know this is a ‘luxury’ apartment?" My boss and I were seriously at a loss for words, since what we were doing was LEGALLY REQUIRED.
All I could manage to say was, “If you didn’t like this, this should have been brought up during the meeting with the architect and the head contractor". This building is as old as I am, clearly was not built to a standard, and if you are a construction worker like I am, you would clearly see all this just by looking at the building’s concrete. After the HOA representative left, we went to talk with the head contractor.
He proceeded to laugh his butt off. He told us not to worry about it since the HOA is already into it for a good million and it would cost them another $50,000 to remove the siding, take out our metal, pay for new metal, install it, then reinstall the siding to get it to the way HE wants it. Then came the surprise. A day later, we get a phone call from the owner saying that they are going to pay for it.
But the way they want it (absolutely no standing seams) is going to cost the building its 10-year warranty on the metal. Meaning that if anything happens after we leave the building, it's not our problem. I don’t think it’s worth it at all, but hey, I’m not paying for it.
24. Hitting The Floor
We bought our place back in June 2021 and have since been trying to get past our “flooring violation”. The rules in the HOA say we must have rolled carpet or sheet vinyl. 15 years ago, someone installed ceramic tiles in the kitchen and living room. Anyways, we talked to many, many, many flooring companies and they told us vinyl planks were best with the attached padded underlay.
Our HOA immediately said no to the pricing, which was high. So we went back around to the flooring companies and most told us no, that sheet vinyl it really would cost 10k because it would be hard to get the floor that smooth again. Finally, Home Depot said they would do it at a lower price and the HOA finally agreed. Until it all went so wrong.
When Home Depot actually got here to do the work, the workers then refused, saying it was too much and we need licensed contractors—and again that vinyl planks are better. We took all this information back to the HOA. Mind you, all this time we have only spoken with our actual board members for no more than five minutes. We are only permitted to talk to the property management that ignores us half the time.
They actually forwarded us to their attorney simply because I think they were tired of talking to us. So the HOA attorney decided to make a waiver with the HOA board members that says our neighbors below us have to sign off saying that if our new floor bothers them, it’s up to them to legally come after us and the HOA will not help them. This is how cheap they are.
Our neighbors that also think this whole situation is weird signed off on the papers. We found the planks and sent all this to the HOA attorney. WELL, apparently we missed in the wording on the waiver that we had to re-send this neighbor approval back to the property management—basically an approval on an approval. We did not understand this—and we started the work.
Now we have a half-cement, half nice-looking floor. No baseboards and our washer and dryer cannot be plugged in. The property management has told us to cease all work and that they would update us later. They threatened fines if we attempted any more work. How long are we supposed to live like this? We cannot deal anymore with this stress.
The day when they told us to stop all work, I literally got home and burst into tears. Also, the attorney told us we were absolute idiots in so many words. I have never felt so belittled in my entire life.
25. Never Good Enough
We have these “lovely” neighbors that like to try to assess and complain about everything on our property. Our grass is bad, our fascia is bad, our sprinklers are bad, our rocks are bad, our paint is bad. This has been going on for some time. But the best part is, we live next to the president. Joy of joy. Anyway, one day I signed a contract to get our house painted. Hopefully soon.
Then we receive a letter stating we have to get the above fixed in two weeks. There are two holidays that are occurring this week and I am going to do my darndest to get it completed. I added grass, but that’s not good enough. I added rocks—not good enough. The fascia board has been fixed for some time. Sprinklers work and have been working for some time.
Everything is a problem with our neighbors. We received in the most recent letter that if we do not get these items fixed in two weeks we will be fined $100 a day.
26. Party In The Front
I am a first-time home-owner, and I have an old car that does not start, and which I have been trying to fix. I have been parking it in front of my house. Today I saw an HOA warning notice on my car, saying that parking a car in front of my house overnight is prohibited and it will be towed at my own expense—which is seriously the dumbest thing I have heard in a while.
I called the HOA asking about this and the lady told me that they can't have cars parked in front of the house as it damages the view of the community. Good God.
27. In The Dog House
On June 25th, after my son got a lumbar puncture with chemo, his doctor gave us paperwork to get an emotional support dog. We showed it to the HOA president, and apparently the rule is no dog over 20 lbs. However, my fiancé is worried that he may crush that small of a dog by accident, so we need a medium-sized dog. We let her see the paperwork the day we got it.
She said she had to talk to the HOA lawyers for paperwork that we would have to sign. Well, it's been three weeks. I know we could get her in trouble and possibly disband this HOA if she tries to fight this. But this dragging their feet is making me mad. I want to get the dog now, but my fiancé wants to give them a three-month time limit. Honestly, I think that is too much time.
28. Towing The Line
A hurricane was coming, so I put my boat on a trailer to bring it more inland, and put the trailer at the side of my house. I am not a part of the HOA in my community as my house precedes it. Within a week, I find a note saying if I don’t move my boat, it will be towed. I tried to call their bluff and left it—what came next infuriated me to no end.
Two days later, a truck came by and tried to tow it. I had to come out with my double-barrel and tell him to get off my property. He ran off without his truck….so I had it towed at his expense. The hurricane passed, and I put the boat back in the water. Just yesterday, I got a package from the HOA with fines for the boat at $5,000, plus the price of the truck being towed.
Like heck I’m paying for that.
29. Ageism At Its Finest
This happened 30+ years ago, before I was born, to my mother’s family. My grandmother lived in a house in this one neighborhood that was meant to be for older people in Florida. They really didn't want anyone under 16 to live there. However, my mother was living there with her, and she also had my older brother Jack. The committee did not like this.
They told my grandmother that while my mother could still live there, my brother couldn’t. Their methods got dark. They began completely harassing them, and the rest of the neighborhood joined in. My great aunt was also in the area and had sold my grandmother the house she was living in during this time. A guy actually threatened to shoot up my aunt’s office and someone threw a brick through one of the windows.
They were not the only ones that had kids living there and being harassed, either. An elderly couple who had their grandkid due to the fact the parents had died also got this mistreatment. After some time, everyone who was being harassed started up a lawsuit against the HOA clubhouse. It was a federal case and took five years to finally resolve—in favor of the kids and guardians.
30. Farming It For All It’s Worth
I live in a rural area, on a family farm. The farm next to ours was sold to a developer, who built a bunch of Mini Mansions that now have an HOA. Now the Mini Mansions back up to my family farm. This kick-started a chain of awful events. I get letters every week from the HOA complaining about the tractor sitting in the field at the front of my property.
Yes, it can be seen from the street; we're working that field and the tractor is necessary. I've had them complain about my barns, outbuildings, the sound of the large tractor when I'm seeding, and once my grandfather saw some people he didn't recognize checking out the barn and went out with his double-barrel to see what they were up to.
Yeah, they didn’t like that. Apparently, they were HOA “inspectors” who declared their “right” to inspect the building to make sure it met HOA rules. My grandfather is not politically correct and I was pleased he restrained himself from using his buckshot to register his opinion of the trespassers. Also, our property is fenced and posted, it was ridiculous. But it got MORE ridiculous.
I was then informed by the HOA that they were going to fine me $1,000 a day until the offending striations and machinery were removed. I informed them that I and my property are not part of the HOA and if their inspectors set foot on my property again, I would have them detained or let my grandfather loose with his double-barrel. They went nuts and called the County Sheriff’s Office.
But, having lived here for generations, I know the Sheriff. He came out and asked me what was going on and I told him. He also visited the HOA and heard their demands that he take immediate action to “protect” their inspectors. They were less than happy with his answer. He informed them that since my property is posted and fenced, I was well within my rights to not allow them on my land.
Also because of our livestock, my grandfather’s double-barrel is not unreasonable because of predators. He also informed them that as I am not a member of the HOA, I have no requirement to allow them on my land and if he gets another call he will arrest the “inspectors”. I have since been sent a letter from the HOA's lawyer telling me to cease and desist all operations until they get a court date.
They are apparently suing me for “damaging the value of their property.” I forwarded it to my lawyer who, after he got done laughing, was amazed. First, because a court has to issue a cease-and-desist order, not the HOA, and secondly we've been here farming for four generations. I have spoken with the HOA board and told them to leave us alone or we'll be more than happy to play “our lawyer is better than their lawyer”.
This is when I learned they are under the delusion that I'd be selling my land for development to an organization like theirs. They were more than a little surprised when I told them that we're currently training the fifth generation to take over and we have no intention of selling our farm, period. Seems the developer left them with the impression that I was selling my property to be developed like my neighbors had been, only to make his money and run.
God have mercy on overzealous HOAs.
31. Don’t Mess With Me
So this story is about a property I own, but rent out. This may sound strange, but I don't think I could afford to live there these days—it's become somewhat exclusive. So a million years ago my property was part of a large farm. I bought it about 30 years ago, long after the farm was broken up, but before there was any development near it.
The piece of land I got was near the back entrance that joined into a dirt road that ran past. The more expensive plots were near the tarred road in the front. I originally bought a large chunk of the land intending to do some farming, but that never happened. About 20 years ago, some of the owners got organized—we’ll call them Organized Owners or OO—and had the area designated as a municipal suburb.
The municipality agreed to put in tarred roads, water, and electricity if a certain percentage of the properties were developed. A construction company (linked to the OO) went around contacting the owners who had land but no buildings. They were offering to build houses for us at a very (very) reasonable price—but there was a catch. It was contingent on them getting a certain minimum amount of people signing up.
While this was happening, one of the OOs approached me and offered to buy half of my property. I agreed, and the money I got for the sale (which was about 4x what I'd paid for the entire chunk of land 10 years prior) combined with a small loan from the bank gave me what I needed to pay for a house to be built, and it was a fairly large and nice house too.
I stayed in the house for a few years, and my mom moved in with me. I had decided to subdivide the property again and build her a house next to mine, but then tragedy struck. Unfortunately, an un-diagnosed tumor took her before the house could even be started—well, it was diagnosed, but too late to do anything. Soon after she passed, we moved out of the house and started renting it out.
About a few weeks before we moved out, the OO I'd sold the land to started talking about starting an HOA. I wasn't interested and left soon after. About two years later, the neighbor OO contacted me. There were two roads entering the area these days—the original tarred road that was near where the farmhouse had been and was entered from a fairly busy main road, and my "dirt road back entrance", which was now a tarred entrance from a wide but not very busy municipal road.
The HOA was trying to get the old farm road blocked off to improve security and decrease through traffic, and wanted the road next to my property to be the main (and only) entrance to the HOA community. They also had an ulterior motive. They were pressuring me to join. I said no, and I was adamant, and eventually, they accepted that…sort of.
They told me they wanted to have a sign near the road welcoming people to the neighborhood, and the only practical place to put it was on the edge of my property. They also wanted to build a little guard hut and have a security guard permanently monitoring who went in and came out, and they wanted to build his shed on my property. I thought it over.
We came to an agreement whereby they would mow the lawn and pay the equivalent of about $35 per month in exchange for the land they needed. I was very happy with this arrangement, since the property was fairly large, and it didn't really cost them anything since they already had a full-time gardening service servicing the HOA. It should have been fine—it definitely wasn’t.
This all happened over a decade ago. They eventually got the other main road blocked off, and the HOA is paying for rent-a-cop to be permanently stationed close to my property, as well as mowing my lawn and paying me enough money for takeaways for the family each month. I'm occasionally contacted by members of the HOA to get me to sign up, but I'm really not interested.
My property has been rented to the same tenant for all these years and everything there is going well for me…until about three years ago. This was when someone scared the heck of my tenant’s young daughter by making strange noises and shooting a double barrel close to her bedroom window three or four times over about a month. This scared my tenant and I guessed it scared the HOA because they AND my tenant contacted me with a proposal.
They asked that I join the HOA and they give me exclusions from the HOA rules, including exclusions from paying the monthly fees, and in addition, they will build a wall around the ENTIRE HOA neighborhood, including electric fencing and security cameras. They told me they had wanted to do this for a while but were unwilling to build the wall on a property that was not in the HOA.
I couldn't see the downside, and so agreed. I lived to regret it deeply. It took a little over a year to build the wall and get everything completed, which is quite fast. And then a month to the day after everything was done, my tenant got an HOA warning about his dogs barking. He told the HOA that while the property was in the HOA, it was exempt from the rules.
The HOA told him that they had canceled the exemptions, and that he had 30 days to comply. He contacted me, and I opened some mail I'd gotten from the HOA—I'd ignored it since I was supposed to be exempt from the rules and fees. Man, did I get a surprise. They had indeed retroactively canceled the exemptions, and were claiming ridiculous things.
That I pay late fees going back over a year. That the easement agreement had been canceled, and that they were retroactively canceling it a year back because the HOA contract allowed them to use "small unused portions" of HOA members’ land for the common good for free. That I refund them the money they had paid for the easement over that period.
That I owed them money for the garden service mowing the large lawn, and that I would be fined for each infraction my tenant failed to remedy. This started an expensive process involving lawyers and the court system. It ended with a judge telling me that what the HOA had done was mostly legal. They did have the right to revoke the exemptions, but they had to give me 30 days’ notice.
As I was walking to my car at court that day, I had an interaction that made my blood boil. The neighbor OO—the one who bought half my land so many years ago—told me that I was stupid to have refused to join when the HOA started, as I could have been a founder member (whatever that means), and that next time I should be sure to understand the documents I sign before signing them.
Well, the neighbor OO was right, I should have read the contract. Also, I was interested in what it meant to be a "Founding Member" (Spoiler: Nothing), and so when I got home, I grabbed the HOA contract I'd signed, as well as all the other documentation they had provided me with, and started reading. I was determined to break every rule I could find a loophole to break.
I didn't get past the first page. I came upon an ingenious detail. While the street address of the property is used to identify it for all practical purposes, in the city records it has a unique property number that has to be used on court records. When my mom moved in, I'd subdivided the remaining property but hadn't yet started building on it.
And when I gave the HOA the easement all those years ago, it had been on the property I'd sliced off for my mom. And when the HOA set up the contract, they had simply used the property number from the easement. The next afternoon, the neighbor OO delivered (and had me sign for) two documents—one telling me that my exemptions would expire in 30 days, and one letting me know that the easement would no longer be required after 30 days.
I think he was being a bit malicious here, because I lived about an hour away from the property, and he drove out himself. But the joke was on him. EXACTLY 30 days TO THE HOUR after the HOA had given me the 30 days’ notice, I knocked on the neighbor OO's door (did I mention he was the president of the HOA?) and had him sign for two documents.
The first was that I planned to build a house on my HOA property (which confused him) and the second was a notice that they had 30 days to remove from the property the guard shed, the parts of the electric boom that were on my property, and the sign. He tried to engage me but I ignored him, climbed into my car, and drove off. Early the next morning, I got a call from the HOA lawyer.
He explained to me that their junk would be staying on my property since it was in an "unused" part of my land. I explained that I was building a house there, and that the land would not be unused anymore. I could hear the smirk as he told me that building a second house to be spiteful would not be accepted by the courts. I sure hope he could hear the smirk in my voice for my next reply.
I told him that the property in question did not have a house, and was, in fact, barely large enough for a house to be built and would not be large enough for any extraneous buildings. I then told him to go look up the property in question and call me back. I had sliced off just enough to be legal, which was just enough to build a small house for my mom at the time.
It took them just under five days to get back to me. Their lawyer told me that the terms of the easement meant that I could not cancel without their permission. Again, I had the perfect reply. I emailed him a photo of the document they sent to me canceling the easement. That afternoon the neighbor OO invited me to lunch (his treat) to discuss the problem.
I said "No thanks". He extended the offer again two days later, and again I said "No thanks". Others of the original OO contacted me to try to talk. Some sounded aggressive, some sounded sympathetic. I said "No thanks" to each of them. Eventually, the lawyer phoned and asked if we could come to some sort of arrangement. I asked what he had in mind, and he told me that he was prepared to discuss exclusions in exchange for access to my property.
So I said "No thanks, and please don't call me again". About nine days before their 30 days was up, I got a call from a different lawyer. He said he wanted to "negotiate a surrender" (his words, not mine). I agreed to meet him at his office the next day. I'd already had documents drawn up, and the meeting was as simple as me giving him the documents and him reading them over. It was a total slam dunk.
My new easement offer: Included everything offered by the old easement offer. I changed the line "mow the lawn" to "get the property to HOA standards and keep it there" since it was now in the HOA. It would cost them about $500 per month instead of ~$35. This amount would increase with inflation (the previous contract didn't include that bit).
When canceled, for whatever reason, the HOA would have to pay me a cancellation fee of around $7,500. The contract automatically terminated 30 days after any disciplinary action was taken against me, my tenant, or the property ("the property"); any complaints were levied by the HOA against the property; any court action was taken against the property by anyone in the HOA.
That [lawyer who had offered to negotiate surrender] would be allowed to mediate any disputes between us, at HOAs expense, and that the HOA would pay all my fees if any action was taken against me. Here’s the crucial thing. I'd deliberately left some insane things in there so that I could appear to "concede" some points or be negotiated down when the HOA got indignant about the points I actually cared about.
The lawyer didn't look happy. He said that my proposal sounded unfair, but that he'd have the HOA president look at them. I reminded him that in eight days I'd be setting a group of men armed with sledgehammers and anger management issues loose on whatever of theirs was still on my property. That evening I got an irate call from the HOA president.
He told me he was never going to sign the new contract. I said "OK". He then told me I was charging too much per month, and that it should be at the same rate as the previous contract. I pointed out that when I signed the previous contract the area was under development, and there was at least one other road leading in and out, but that now there was only mine.
And besides, mine was now developed with everything they needed. He told me that I was forcing them to sign a document they didn't want to sign. I told him that he was free to not sign it. He whined about everything he could think of. And then eventually told me I'd be hearing from his lawyer. The next events surprised even me.
The next morning, Surrender Lawyer called to ask if I'd be willing to come to their offices to sign the contract. I agreed. When I got there that afternoon, I learned that Surrender Lawyer was not a lawyer, but a Paralegal. He handed me the contract and asked me to sign it. He laughed when I told him I'd have to read through it first to make sure nothing was changed and mumbled something that sounded like "I'm sure you would".
I read the contract. Nothing had been changed. NOT A SINGLE THING. And the HOA president had signed it, with the Surrender Paralegal signing as witness. I looked at him and said "Why did he sign this? It was stupid to sign it!" and the paralegal looked at me and said "I started telling him that signing it would be a bad decision, but he told me I wasn't being paid to think or give advice, and to shut up. So I shut up”.
I said "Do you understand what he's signed here?" He looks at me and nods. He said "I asked him if I should have one of the lawyers look at it before giving it to you, and he told me that we had already billed enough for this, and that he'd sign it and sue me after their easement was safe”. This happened about a year and a half ago. It took six months for the HOA to find out how screwed they were.
They wanted to sue me, but their lawyers explained to them that there was no way to win. Even if the court sided with them, all they would get is the easement contract voided, and they did not think that the court would side with them anyway. The lawyers were adamant about one thing. The HOA could not live with the "HOA pays my fees if action was taken against me" since it didn't limit the people taking action against me to the HOA.
As worded, the HOA would be forced to pay for my fees if ANYONE took action against me. They argued that the courts would probably not enforce that, since the context of the agreement was to do with the HOA, and I told them I was prepared to find out since the HOA would definitely be the ones taking action against me if they challenged it.
I eventually signed an addendum to the contract. It was even more vengeful than before. It said that the neighbor OO (HOA President) would personally pay all my fees unless he held no position at all in the HOA, and that the HOA would pay all fees if the HOA took action against me. He resigned from the HOA at the end of that meeting.
I politely told him in front of everyone that he should not sign documents unless he understands what he's signing. He didn't look pleased. It came out during the mediation that without the ability to control access to the HOA neighborhood through the security boom (partially) on my property, the HOA would be in breach of their own articles and would be dissolved.
I also learned (should have been obvious to me) that all the security cameras were wired, and all end in the guardhouse/guard shed. So basically, it was my way or the end of the HOA. That first mediation was really quite funny. My paralegal looked more than a little glum as we assembled and he called everyone to order. I suspected that he had been told to work against me, so I took the initiative.
I reminded everyone there that I had agreed to let the paralegal mediate, but that I had agreed to no arbitration at all. If I didn't feel like the proceedings were fair, I'd leave and they could go ahead and sue. The paralegal brightened up and things actually went quite well. I'm writing this after getting home from the latest mediation. See, I built a "paddling pool" for the neighborhood dogs.
As in, I made it myself. I dug a hole, packed it with stone, and added a concrete finish. It was my first attempt, and if I say so myself, it looked...well, terrible. The HOA called for a mediation meeting, which is what they do now instead of taking official action. I've declined their mediation requests in the past. In it, they told me, as nicely as they could, that the paddling pool was an eyesore right at the entrance of the HOA.
I asked them to create a list of what needed to be fixed and how it needed to be fixed to give to me at the next meeting. The list was extensive. It basically required the pool to be rebuilt from scratch. I asked them if there was any way to reduce costs on the work they needed to get it up to HOA standards, and they assured me there was not. I had them right where I wanted them.
I thanked them, pulled out a copy of the agreement where they had agreed to "get the property to HOA standards" (which I'd highlighted) and handed it to them with the list. I told them the HOA usually preferred if these things were dealt with within 30 days. They started arguing until the mediator reminded them that they could not force me to comply without causing the easement to end.
I should mention that their lawyers usually no longer attend these things. They said they would get it done. I also learned a lot about neighbor OO today: I found out that neighbor OO sold his property about three months back and is apparently leaving the country for Australia. I found out that the HOA had successfully sued him for a ton of money they had lost to his mismanagement as part of his vendetta against me.
I also learned that he had a vendetta against me. I have no idea what I did to upset him. I'm not sure if I will screw with the HOA anymore. I already think I'm so close to breaking them that the only thing stopping them from canceling the contract is the massive financial loss if they do. I guess a lot depends on how they treat me and my tenants going forward.
I do like the monthly payments, though, so I'm motivated to play nice.
32. For The Love Of Shed
When we bought our house, the largest in the neighborhood and the original showcase home for the development, there was a shed in the backyard. My Lady Lair, if you will. The home sale was approved by the HOA and a letter of “no violations” was issued. All good, right? The home unfortunately came with scads of “abandoned property”. Within 24 hours of taking possession of our home, it turned into a nightmare.
The former owners broke back in to remove what was now legally ours. I stopped at the security guard shack to inquire about ensuring that the former owners’ gate codes were inactivated and to keep an eye out for any attempt at continued entry into the gated hood. The guard assured me he would handle it and I went on my way. That evening, the guard came to my home to give me additional information I might need.
He also offered security cam footage for the authorities. I thanked him for taking the time to make me feel safe in my new home, but before he left he said, “Just to warn you, the HOA will go after you for your shed—they want it gone”. After a bit more discussion, he informed me that the former owners were not only crazy but had gone toe-to-toe with the HOA over the shed.
Three years and lawyers all around, the HOA finally said screw it, this is costing us too much money and their lawyer is better than ours, and dropped the whole thing. It came all too true. Within two weeks I had two different neighbors tell me the HOA would give me problems over the shed. Fun! At the three-week mark, an inspector from the county showed up to tell me he was investigating an anonymous complaint about code violations and the shed.
This shed, by the way, was visible only if you stood on my property, but apparently there was no permit for it. I was livid and already considering what avenues I had to keep my shed or “win” compensation for the loss of property when the code enforcer smiled a devious smile at me, handed me a printout, and said, “all you need to do is fill this out, pay $50 to the county, and you will be in code compliance”.
He then said that “Neighbor Jerry…oops coughcough...I mean the ‘anonymous complainant’ cannot touch your shed after that”. The key here is that four years ago when they were battling the former residents, the county did not permit sheds and the bylaws say all additional property structures require permits. If there is no permit, the HOA can order the removal and fine the resident until it is gone.
Two years ago, the county started permitting sheds and the HOA was unaware of the change. I paid my $50 and got the permit, making my lady lair code compliant and untouchable by the HOA. I also made a new friend in Code Enforcement and all is well in my 150 sq ft slice of heaven.
33. Merry Trashmas Indeed
My mom lives in a nice, newer home community with a voluntary HOA. My mother being the firecracker she is, she refused to formally join the HOA but agreed to do the things she would do anyway to upkeep her home. We paint for her, she has a gardener, she washes windows, etc. She never signed any documents, doesn't pay fees, but told the board she would adhere to the standards that she didn’t find silly.
The volunteer president lives next to my mother and this guy has never liked our family. Since mom didn't join, he would knock on her door for "friendly visits" to tell her what rules she was violating. It was all very silly and we continued to ignore him. His biggest pet peeve was her trashcans. Apparently they stayed out too long after trash pick-up and he said it was an "eye sore" for the rest of the neighborhood.
Now I have to explain a few things about mom. My mom is a double amputee, has a dysfunctional side from a stroke, is wheelchair-bound, and is still about 95% independent. There are a few things she can’t do, and bringing the trashcans in and out of the side gate is one of them. For that chore, my sister or I come over the night before trash day and put them out, and the following evening to put them back in.
He whined and complained, wrote letters, and called the city about her trash cans. This guy knew my mom is in a wheelchair, but he kept harassing her. It was after a winter storm that the trashcan blew over and sprayed the neighborhood with trash overnight. It wasn’t just her can by the way, it was several. My sister and I walked the neighborhood and picked up the trash as soon as we could.
Well, the president lost his mind. And this time, he went too far. He gathered up the other members of the board next trash day and stormed up to her house. He yelled at her through the screen door while the other sycophants nodded their heads. I happened to be there and was preparing to grab a broom and go after them. But, to my mother's credit she didn’t yell back, she simply opened the door and rolled her wheelchair down the drive.
And then, my tiny mother struggled to pull the trash can back up the driveway with her one good arm. It was actually pretty sad, mom hammed it up. She has adapted to her weak side, but you wouldn't know it from watching her that day. By the time she got the can halfway up the drive, the angry mob was glaring daggers at the president. I would find out later he never told them she was disabled.
He also painted her as lazy, and most of the meetings were the president complaining about my mom and telling lies about what a nightmare it was living next to her. After a round of muttered apologies, they scattered like roaches in the light. Once they left, I moved the trashcans in and we had a good laugh. The volunteer HOA ended soon after that.
Apparently, no one wanted to attend meetings that were little more than glorified whine sessions about my mom and other people in the neighborhood. The president had been harassing other homeowners and telling similar lies about them. He was proven a liar and we almost never see him now. I’d say the neighborhood has gotten better at this point.
This guy turned out to be the cause of all the strife, and without his influence people began to actually talk to each other. Nowadays people stop by to check on mom during storms and sometimes her trashcans will magically appear in the side-yard on windy days. And mom, in perfect fashion, sent out Christmas cards to all her neighbors.
You may have seen this card in the stores but it has a raccoon on it and says "Merry Trashmas".
34. Taking Him Down A Peg
My wife and I moved into a 64-townhome community that was 10 years old at the time. The HOA board was comprised of five members that were original homeowners when the community started. They had been the sole board members since the community started, and their sense of entitlement was absolutely crazy. They thrived on their quarterly walkthrough of the neighborhood, for one.
They would write up every single home for some kind of fine regardless of how minor the offenses were. EVERYONE gets a letter. Our first letter, the first month living there, was that our garage door paint was starting to peel (it was a 2 cm scrape where the panels met), it needed to be repainted, the siding needed to be power washed (there was a patch of green moss behind a bush) and the sliding door on the deck was dirty (there was dirt on the bottom of the door from recent rain) and it needed to be washed.
We had 30 days to fix the issues or begin accruing a fee of $25 a day until they are resolved. I asked around and everyone gets these ridiculously petty letters every quarter. No matter what you did to maintain your townhome, you were going to get a letter about something. But that wasn’t the worst part.
As this was going on, none of the major items the neighborhood needed fixed were addressed. After a decade since the construction, the ground had settled unevenly and many homes had standing water issues where it wouldn’t drain after a storm. The rainwater would sit for 5-7 days in people’s lawns. And more importantly, there had been a court fight with the town since the community was started about our road being “Dedicated,” meaning the town was responsible for snow removal.
Our HOA dues included paying for our own snow removal (which we shouldn't have to) and we were paying an attorney for 10 years to fight this with no resolution in sight. Fast forward two years and a few of us had enough. We came up with a plan to distort them. We decided to band together to replace the board at the next annual meeting.
The existing board got wind of this and hit us all with pages’ worth of issues with our properties, since if you have outstanding issues, you are not in good standing with the community and thus cannot run for a board position or even vote for those running. But it actually backfired on them. This petty move brought the community even closer than ever.
We all spent the weekend before the meeting helping each other clean out their HOA honey-do lists. We took pictures and documented everything, then we had the US Mail certify delivery of each packet with the completed list and photos to the HOA board, who lived 75 feet away. Come board night, oddly enough, the lawyer was there to give an update that no progress has been made with the township on dedicated our road.
He stuck around as we moved to the elections for the next board. We brought our signed petitions to add our names to the ballot. The board says were not eligible as we all have outstanding issues with our property. We call their bluff with our receipts from the post office that they had indeed received our completed lists with documentation.
They reply that they haven’t reviewed them yet. We tell them that’s not our problem and we are in good standing. Then came the moment of glory. The lawyer overhearing this states we are eligible to be on the ballot if we can confirm the issues with our homes were resolved prior to the meeting. The HOA president glares at the lawyer but the lawyer just shrugs, saying, “the rules are the rules”.
With the exception of the five existing board members voting for themselves and each other, we are voted in nearly unanimously to replace them. I lead the revolution because I was tired of the petty stuff when there were real problems in the neighborhood. Sadly, the rest of the elected board members vote me as president. I have no idea what I’m doing.
But we spent the next few sessions removing all the dumb violations from most of the neighbors. We went through the by-laws to really focus on what's important. What happens next? Ends up that lawyer was a friend of the previous president and was in no hurry to resolve anything as he was enjoying our excessive bill. I notify him if it’s not resolved in the next six months we were finding new representation. He was actually good at his job when pressed to do it. He won the case, the town appealed however and tried to drag it out even more.
He fast-tracked the appeal as it had been going on for 10 years and we won the appeal too. The town dedicated our road, then the lawyer pressed that it should have been done years ago; turns out it wasn't him slowing things down but the town. He ends up getting us a settlement from the judge for backpay on us paying for snow removal that the town was responsible for.
We ended up using that settlement to have French drains installed across much of the community to clear the standing water issues. With the money left over, we fixed a lot of the neighborhood issues that the HOA should have been doing the whole time. Fences and sidewalks in disrepair, replaced foliage, etc. It was great getting all that done without having to hit our capital reserve fund.
I remained president until we moved a few years ago. Our family began to outgrow the townhome. Now we live in a new larger development…with a new HOA. I was asked to run for a position on it. I think I gave the best response. I replied, “not a chance…but I will lead a coup d’état if I need to.” Oh, and one other thing: The original HOA president wasn't actually eligible to be president.
He wasn't on the mortgage, and the townhome was in his mom's name. No one knew because he held the books. The best was at the next annual meeting, he shows up with his petition to try and get his position back. I tell him (in front of the other 60+ homeowners) that he can't even be at the meeting let alone vote or be on a ballot as his name isn't on the property.
But his mom is eligible if she wants to. That was embarrassing enough for the entitled little jerk.
35. Biting Off More Than She Can Chew
This happened a few years back. Our HOA has always been known to be sneaky and to flat-out falsely accuse homeowners of the most outrageous stuff. Most recently a homeowner was told she was supposed to get approval before she started re-shingling her roof. The thing is? Her roof hasn't been re-shingled in 10 years, and she had no plans to do it. Things like that.
Call it just a mistake, call it malicious. Well, a few years ago, we had our time to shine. It was a simple morning. I was still temporarily living with my father at the time and we decided to go out to get groceries. At that point, we found that his pickup truck had been smashed into. Nothing was taken, it was just smashed into. In fact, I still have pictures from that day.
Officers arrive, they do some investigating, and found that a rock inside the truck was from a house down the street. Unfortunately, they couldn't get them to admit to doing it, nor could they prove it was even them. The rock I should say was a special kind of rock that no one else in the neighborhood had, some round polished type. Very unique.
After this incident, I installed a security camera on my dad’s house. Well, not two days later we got an HOA fine for a vehicle eye sore that needs to be removed. JUST two days later. I'm confused how such a letter could have been written up so fast, but I started to suspect foul play. Then other strange things began happening. One day we were home and had a knock at the door.
The HOA actually called a code inspection officer! The week hadn't even been over yet, so the parts to fix the truck weren't delivered yet. We weren't paying expedited shipping for damages we didn't cause, and the truck was so old insurance would probably just total it. The truck is sentimental to him so he wasn't going to get rid of it. It still ran great!
Code inspection tells my father that vehicles that do not run need to be removed. Ok, here’s the really weird part. My father and the code inspection guy both stop talking and take a second, and then both almost say at the same time: "Don't I know you?" Turns out the code inspection officer went to the same church as my father, and they knew each other!
The officer tells my father if he can show the truck starts, he's going to write it up as being in code. My father starts the truck just fine as the engine isn't damaged. He tells him to go on with his day and to have a good one. At this point, we are furious because we are starting to suspect the HOA may have done this as there's no way they could have possibly known so fast. Unfortunately, our turn of the street had no neighbors with security cameras until I installed one on our house, so it caught nothing specific to our incident. Down the street, these people supposedly broke into a car as well but the camera on their house was unable to see anything. Here's where the fun begins. Fast forward a couple months after nothing happened, I decided to install a new dash cam in my car.
I found a good one that uses very little power off the battery, and can activate if there are any bumps to the car, even if the car is off. A few days later we got a notice for our mailbox being crooked. It wasn't crooked much, but I do remember it recently having an angle. Odd, I could just fix it, but........my car was aiming STRAIGHT at the mailbox!
I'm thinking, no, this couldn't possible, it only records if there's a bump. I take out the memory card, and apparently, I either didn't configure it correctly, but it was recording the whole time, it never went into sleep mode. I watched the footage. I couldn’t believe what I saw. The HOA investigator walks up to the mailbox and PUSHES it crooked, then writes down on his tablet his findings and takes a picture for records.
I'm appalled at what I see. BUT NOW I HAVE THE PROOF I NEEDED! Now, for the malicious compliance. They wanted us to come to the board meeting and present what is going on at our address. We haven't told them yet that we had the pictures, but to summarize real fast how our HOA works, the board hires an outside company to do the grunt work, let's call it Bentry Management.
We go to the meeting and sit down. Bentry Management is the one in control of our account, and I swear to you this main woman looked like a Karen, so the name fits for her. As time goes by in the meeting, we get to discuss what is happening at our house. We present the timelines and tell them about the truck being smashed, and just two days later we get a letter.
We ask what dates the investigator was out for that time. Karen refuses to answer it. She argues ignorantly that we should "Keep better care of our stuff" as if it was our fault. Then comes the mailbox incident. We tell her that we have reasons to believe that the investigator is the one that is causing damages to our property and is harassing us. Karen denies this and says that is impossible.
She says that she knows him personally. "Oh? Is that so?" I ask. She says "Yes, why?" I then pull my laptop out of my book bag that I had been hiding, open it up to the video file already loaded, and show it to the entire board. "Enter exhibit A!" I said out loud and played the video. Karen's face goes bright red. She says that is not her investigator. Ok then.
I then ALSO pulled out the letter about the mailbox, which was complete with the date. It matches the time stamp on the video. She still tries to claim it's not them. "No, it's a coincidence, I'm sorry but you have a vandal and it's not us”. It's not? Hmm. I let the video play, knowing she's falling into a pit hard right now. As the man walks towards my car, you can plain as day see "Bentry Management" on his shirt.
She's no longer red now, she's white as a ghost. The board looks over at her and asks what she has to say about this. Karen is silent and has nothing except a few noises, which I assume was her brain trying to comprehend what just happened. I then proceed to bring up a previous case that I happened to remember before we left for the meeting.
It was where we had a grass fine beside our house. Now, this area they were claiming was actually not visible from the sidewalk due to the house’s shape. I asked point-blank: "Have, at any time, your investigators walked on our property, trespassing?" I saw this knowing as per their rules, they aren't allowed to do that. Karen is visibly shaking now.
She mutters out, "No, of course not" with her head down, unable to maintain eye contact with me. She probably feels that I have more evidence, but unfortunately, I didn't. So I ask again. She asks, "Why?" OUR neighbor, who is a lawyer, then stands up, and says, "Actually that's not true, I have witnessed one of your investigators go between our houses and poke around the trash bins".
Bingo! I didn't even realize she had this information; I couldn't have asked for better timing. Karen at this point just starts arguing with our neighbor about having no proof. The board proceeds to apologize for the incident and says they were going to discuss what is going to happen in the future about this. At that point, the meeting is over.
A month passes and we get a letter that a new person will be in charge for Bentry Management, and new investigators. She was fired that night! Since she was fired, my father tells me we only get the occasional blip of errors, but they correct it immediately and don't bother us really anymore.
36. Get Off My Lawn
I live in an HOA neighborhood, but my house is not in the HOA as my grandfather, the previous homeowner, did not join the HOA when the other neighbors created it. The HOA board constantly come to my house and tell me I need to join and try to manipulate me into joining the HOA, give me documents and all that. I usually slam the door in their face.
Last time they can for the third time in a week telling me how they can force me to join the HOA. I pulled out my double barrel at that point and told them they had 10 seconds to leave my property. They left and haven't come back. However, I heard people say they're going to press charges. I say give it all you got; they were trespassing, and my state allows this.
37. Park It
My HOA was doing some useless things like replacing asphalt with bricks, which was loud and took weeks and probably will cost a lot to repair, so they told us we could move our cars to the small plaza next to our homes. They assured us we had permission. Big mistake. Every car parked there got towed, and they had no choice but to pay roughly $300 for every car towed.
38. Gaming The System
When my HOA said that I needed a “water catch basin” under all of my potted plants in front of my townhouse, I noticed that the official rules did not say plant “saucer”. Technically a water catch basin is an industrial water conduit. So I went out and bought a big ugly water conduit and a big PVC pipe to be attached to it. I then sat my plants on top of that.
It is still there. It takes a majority of members to change the rules so they have to live with their demand. They then said that the flowers in front of my townhouse needed to be dug up because only the landscaper could plant things there. The previous owner had planted them and I hadn’t any idea where they all were. So I bought a shovel and dug up every single plant and expensive bush in front of my place.
It cost them much more than the $50 fine that they were charging me to fix it. In the past year, they have stopped trying to fine me. Probably because I am too expensive to go after for their little things anymore. There are lots of malicious compliance solutions you can pick like this. If an HOA requires a grass front lawn, see if you can get written permission to spray it regularly with color so that it won’t turn brown.
You then go and get fluorescent pink. You simply make it so obnoxious and expensive that they stop trying to impose silly little things. There are a lot of fun things you can do by following rules exactly or getting permission to do things that have unexpected results. Brainstorm with friends. Have fun. But make sure it stays exactly within the rules.
You can “train them” to look only at meaningful things instead. Especially with you. HOAs can actually be a good thing if they are reminded to stick to what is really important. More like a utility service than an enforcement authority.
PxHere
39. New World Order
A good friend of mine inherited the house of his grandparents. He decided to live there for the time being until he figured out what to do with the place. He grew up in it, so he did not really want to sell it. Not even a week after he moved in, he got a visit from a neighborhood committee. They said they are the three board members of the HOA and are here so he can sign his membership papers.
They were extremely nosy and rude. For example, one tried to get into the garage without so much as asking. When he stopped him and asked him where he wanted to go, he couldn’t stomach the guy’s answer. The guy had the audacity to say: "I need to check your garage, to see if everything there is in order. I have a right to do this biweekly, and denying me access is an offense that will cost a fine”.
He then had enough of that and kicked them out of the house. While doing so, one of the board members shoved some papers into his face and told him he needed to sign these right now. He had lived there a week already, and apparently these papers had to be signed BEFORE moving in. Once they were gone (he hadn’t signed yet), he took a look at the papers. He hated what he saw.
They were ridiculous and gave the HOA rights that were simply unreal. They had for example a right to visit your home biweekly and check things like that you do not use the garage for storage, don't have gasoline on containers in your garage, etc. You had to mow your lawn every week, snow had to be shoveled every two hours when it snowed starting at 5 o'clock in the morning.
You could not park more than one car on your grounds (except inside the garage), and a ton of other stuff. A few days later they came back and asked him why he did not sign the papers yet. They also wanted to check the garage again. This time he would not even let them in and told them he would never become a member of their stupid club. They tried to get a nasty revenge.
Within a week they had sent him fines north of $1,000 (some of them were for denying them access to his home, each worth $250) My friend simply did not take them seriously, and used their stupid letters to help fire his grill. Then came the day where they went EXTREMELY TOO FAR. He came back, and one of the board members had broken into his garage.
He was standing in it and was writing things down on his notepad. But that was not even the heartbreaking part. He had two wonderful oak trees in the front of the house. They had been planted by his great grandparents when they were newlyweds and moved into the house. The HOA WAS IN THE PROCESS OF TAKING THEM DOWN. They had called a professional crew for this.
One was already so damaged, it was basically just a stump that was left. The other one they had just started with. He lost it. He told the tree crew to stop right now and explained to them that he was the owner, and what they did was highly illegal. They had no idea, since the board member claimed these trees were breaking the rules, since supposedly too many leaves went into the neighbor’s garden.
He had told them that was no reason to cut them down, but the board member claimed my friend had given the OK. He looked it up later. They actually had a by-law that if a garden produces more than one 40-liter sack of leaves within two weeks, the garden owner needs to take down the offending trees within two weeks. Anyway, he told the workers he would overlook them trespassing if they would be witnesses in court for him.
Then he called the authorities on the board members for trespassing and breaking and entering. They actually had used a bolt cutter to get into the garage. He had it always closed with a big bike lock after they had tried to get in it twice before. The trial was glorious. Not only did they have to repay him for the lock and the tree (which was worth a ton of money, north of $50k if I remember right), plus damages for the second tree, but these idiots had to pay an additional $10-15k in lawyers and court costs.
All in all, this trial must have cost them over $120k. But he wasn’t done yet. Then he went to civil court and sued them for emotional damage. He told them how much these trees meant to him, since his great grandparents had planted them with seeds from the home country (he really laid it on as thick as he could). Plus, he felt threatened by the HOA and could hardly sleep because he always fears they would try to get into his house.
The court actually bought it and gave him $500k plus the costs for a state-of-the-art alarm system so he can feel safe again in his own home. So put all together he cost the HOA nearly $750k. They had to file for bankruptcy and get a person to check the books so my friend would get his money. The best came last, though. The mediator found out that these three jerks had been defrauding the HOA for well over 10 years.
They were giving out as many fines as they possibly could so they could use it to bolster their income. All three had to sell their houses so they could pay out my friend. Now he is for most people one of their favorite people living there, and he constantly gets invited over for grilling and whatnot. You see, most people never wanted the HOA in the first place.
The board members practically forced them to sign the contract, claiming it would not be optional, and if they did not sign before moving in, it would be a $500 fine. Only six of the over 50 members actually wanted this HOA.
40. Making An Impression
A few weeks ago we got a pitiful little snow that was barely really a frost. Just enough to cause a little trouble on the roads, because any sort of weather causes troubles on the roads here. But nothing severe. So my husband and I go out, get in our cars, and leave for the work day. A while later (I don't remember if it was five days or a week), we get an email from the HOA saying we are being fined for something.
They aren't very specific at first, but they are saying it's about the snow and our cars. We are very confused. There is not enough snow to shovel. Finally, after a few back-and-forth emails, they simply send us a picture "describing the problem". Y'all. Y'all. They were emailing because in this pitifully tiny layer of snow, the imprint our car left was in the shape of some twigs-and-berries, if you get my meaning, and somehow that's our fault.
I cried laughing, y'all. This is the most ridiculous thing I have ever heard of being fined for, and we flat out told them we weren't paying. Eventually, they realized we were serious about not paying, and since there were no by-laws on the books about something like this, they dropped it.
41. Ramping Up
Ok, so where to begin. I have been in a battle with my HOA for months. This whole mess started when I suspected a board member of receiving kickbacks on jobs. I and a few homeowners set up a sting operation. A family friend is a licensed contractor and put in a bid for work. The president invited him over and during the conversation, the president bluntly said any job approval requires a 10% overbid deposit if you want the work.
He did record on his phone but because we are in a two-party consent state it couldn't be used. We have sent numerous requests for financial records and have been stonewalled for months. The owner of the property management company is in on the scam as well. I and five other concerned homeowners have been stonewalled time and time again.
We finally banded together got a lawyer, but it’s taken some time to get it through to the courts. So three weeks ago I had a major operation affecting my ability to walk. I am wheelchair-bound temporarily. I submitted a request for an accommodation of a ramp that I would pay for. These are individual houses and it would have zero effect on any other homeowner in the community.
HOA of course denies the request. The reason was outrageous.
Apparently, “homeowner has not proven they are disabled”. A note from the surgeon was sent over. Denied, reason: "HOA called doctor's office. Doctor does not exist, homeowner is making false claims". You can't make this up right? So I say screw it and put the ramp up. A board member then decides to put brick pavers in front of the ramp with caution tape on it and a note saying “unapproved”.
My lawyer reached out to the board one last time before filing and accidentally got a reply meant for the other board members: "I'm going to get him. He's lying and just trying to be a pain in our butt. Let’s just keep denying the requests; we're the board, and we set the rules and what we say goes." Judge grants an injunction. I then sort of forgot about the whole thing.
The board has been leaving me alone…until today. Two board members came banging on my door telling me they are going to kill me (thanks Ring for recording it all). Yelling how they will make me permanently crippled. It turns out the community’s insurance company refused to pay the court bills. They were also not indemnified because it was done with malice.
The two board members are on the hook for almost $9,000 in fees plus $35k in punitive damages.
42. Screw You, Mr. President
To set the stage: I just turned 30. I have a good job, spend my money wisely, save and invest. I grew up dirt poor and had nothing handed to me in life. In my late 20s, the software company I had been at went public and I cashed out and moved back home to Florida. With nothing to do, I started investing in rental properties with a good friend of mine.
This started about a year ago with the president of an HOA where I purchased two condos. This is a man in his late 60s, and he thinks he is the second coming of Jesus. From the get-go, he made comments about me being young and buying houses, why my parents weren’t co-signing. Or must be nice to have a trust fund. Both properties had existing tenants.
One still there, one left. My business model has been to completely remodel every property between tenants to get the maximum rental income. Construction was a nightmare. Literally everything was a problem. Dumpster smelled, contractors leaving at 5:05 pm and being accused of not pulling permits. I submitted six rental applications, and all got denied.
I was never given a reason but the board was happy to cash my application fees. I got my company’s attorney involved. It took six months and many days in a courtroom but we finally got the books. I had a family friend go through them—and they came to a disturbing realization. I’ll save the long story, but many thousands of dollars and hundreds of hours later, this idiot and his two other board members were taking from the bank account.
He was writing fake invoices to his own company. My magician attorney was able to get text logs of them discussing blocking my applications; mainly they wanted me to dump the property so they could buy it. We won a sizable judgment against him personally, and just today he put his house up for sale. The house he had been living in for 30 years.
To throw salt on the wound, I did put in an offer for 65% of what he is asking though I doubt I’ll get a response. The best part? We offered to settle for a fraction months ago, we even were willing to include a non-disclosure. The idiot told us to pound sand at every turn. So Mr. HOA president, screw you, I won. The “stupid trust fund baby” won and you lost!
43. Thanks But No Thanks
Last month my wife and I (newly married) moved into a community that had no HOA listed. We are both the DIY types and take care of our own property. Part of the reason we picked our house is it had a large corner backyard with RV parking on the side, plus a fair amount of workspace. The community was also in great condition considering no HOA was involved.
One week in, we started redoing the kitchen cabinets. They were from the 70s and we wanted more hardwood instead of the cheap wood that was installed. I'd say the saw was on for five minutes when one of the neighbors came up to say it's against HOA rules to do DIY improvements on my home...I obviously wondered what he was talking about.
I had made absolutely sure there was no HOA before signing and moving in. He replied that they have a community HOA and that it would be in our best interest to join. I obviously said NO and went back to my day. An hour later, the guy is back with a woman in business attire to hand me "THE RULES" and to have me sign the acknowledgment/entry papers.
Also to retain my $289/month fee. Once again, I explained I'm not interested nor do I care about their club. I see no reason to abide by their rules. I simply stated that I will keep my property maintained and that's all they need to know. She gave me a few choice words and left. I thought all was done, but I was so wrong. Today I received a fine for a leaky sprinkler.
It leaks for all of five minutes past the timer...at 4 am...which means one of these prunes has been watching my house at 4 AM!! I'm up at all hours of the day for work so I was able to check. I know this is just the beginning. The HOA has not registered, at least from what I can find. The board members’ names and signatures are listed in the back of the Rules Book.
I’ve already started the paper trail just in case it gets worse.
44. Iced Out
I have a story from my aunt. My aunt lives in a gated community in the Pacific Northwest. She’s at a higher altitude so she gets a bit of snow. She is a nice lady, very active and always helps other people. Her HOA is a drinking club as she describes them. They have a whole bunch of rules, some totally ridiculous, heavily enforced, and always changing.
Usually, when rules are changed they get posted on some online community bulletin board from the days of dial-up. Also, they like to fine and shame people. My aunt never attended meetings because she has "no time for drinking”. As per usual with a lot of by-laws, you have to clear the sidewalk in front of your house of snow and ice. My aunt, being the woman she is and living in a 55+ community, always shovels her walk and salts it for ice.
A couple years ago, there was a heavier than usual snowfall, maybe over 20 inches in the higher elevations with some warm days, then freezing temperatures for a few days after. So first snowfall she gets up early and shovels her sidewalk and her walk and sprinkles down some salt. It snows a few inches more, so in the later afternoon, she shovels the walk again and decides to salt again.
She literally said she tossed a few handfuls of salt and the neighbor across the street comes running out demanding she stops salting. It seems that a “No Salt” rule was added to their book of great HOA rules (reasoning is that salt crystals are unsightly) and posted on the unusable online bulletin board from 1999. Which at this point had been replaced by an “under maintenance” error page for the past few months, by the way.
So there was no way the HOA rule changes could be relayed to the commoners. Well, my aunt apologizes anyway. The consequences were ridiculous. She gets a warning for the first time she salted and a second for the handful of salt she applied in the second salting, and then gets another warning for not properly clearing the sidewalk. My aunt left maybe a strip of about two to three inches for about two feet on the edge of her sidewalk.
Not a big deal, she made an excellent effort, but the HOA neighbor didn’t think so. She also had to clean up all the rock salt with a broom. My aunt ended up getting the new HOA rules in writing from the HOA neighbor, which she read over. She then realized they only stated salt in the sidewalk snow shoveling rule, but nothing about blue salt-free ice melt. Also, it was stated that the sidewalk should stay free of ice at all times.
She read a bit deeper to learn that street and sidewalk cleaning is covered by the HOA twice a year or as needed. Instead of risking the HOA’s wrath and fines and some public shaming, especially because now it’s near impossible to prevent the sidewalk from freezing up, she decides she will challenge the HOA and will use the blue non-salt ice melt to keep her sidewalk ice-free.
The next day after an overnight snowfall, she heads to the local hardware store to buy some blue non-salt ice melt, strikes up a conversation with the shop owner about her issue, and he recommends these blue ice melting pellets. He then throws in a bag of clay kitty litter on the house so she can "stick it to them idiots". That afternoon the temperature rises just above freezing.
There is a heavy wet snowfall of a few inches which hits the ground wet, melts, and refreezes when temperatures go below freezing at nighttime. So instead of risking having a skating rink for a sidewalk, she clears the wet snow and then dumps a bunch of these blue ice melting pellets and a whole bunch of kitty litter. Overnight it freezes, and the next day she has the most ice-free sidewalk in all of the neighborhood.
It is, however, covered in ice melt pellets. Well, her use of kitty litter and blue ice melt pellets don’t go unnoticed by her HOA neighbor. That afternoon she is fined by the HOA officer in charge of fines for breaking the rules. She sees nothing wrong: the road is salted and sanded and looks like a mess, so her sidewalk doesn’t look too bad all blue and grey speckled and ice-free.
She then gets a notice to clean up the “salt,” which she ignores because it’s not salt. Then that day it rained, then froze, and continued to rain, then snow—causing everything to be covered in ice and snow the next morning. It was a disaster. My aunt cleared the snow from her sidewalk and applied more blue pellets and kitty litter, which wasn’t a huge task because luckily she already had applied so much that there was already no ice on her sidewalk or snow.
Everyone else in the neighborhood, meanwhile, had to chip the under layer of ice after they risked a horrific fall while clearing the top layer of snow. She then was fined again, while neighbors had to actually walk in the messy street in some parts because sidewalks some spots were unwalkable. Warnings and fines were given to other unsuspecting neighbors who couldn't attend the HOA meetings and had mistakenly used salt or had not chipped and cleared all the sidewalk ice in an acceptable amount of time.
The next few days were blue skies and below freezing with ice everywhere. The sidewalks had been chipped but iced up over time with a thin layer of slick ice called black ice. People were falling and my aunt now had a couple rogue neighbors using all types of non-salt ice melt. One guy made a solution of brine and molasses that he sprayed on and got great results.
Others used sand, brine, non-salt ice melters, anything they could. The HOA’s drinking probably increased as one officer fell on a patch of black ice out front of his home, breaking his elbow. This happened while he was returning from delivering fines, warnings, and general nastiness. Eventually, the weather returned to above-freezing levels and rain.
This washed away all the various ice-melting substances. The rogue neighbors then gathered at my aunt’s house, enjoying tea and snacks. Amongst them was the man who used brine and molasses, who happened to have a license to practice law. He was retired—but now he had a mission. He had nothing else better to do than to "ruin the useless HOA at the next meeting".
He then invited himself to the next meeting with a file folder of all the fines and warnings with a statement of dispute for each one. He also brought his tablet to prove the online bulletin board wasn't working, which helped the case that the HOA wasn't providing proper means of communication to the residents. This meant the residents could sign a petition to fire the standing HOA members and appoint an interim HOA until the election.
My aunt was appointed treasurer, the retired lawyer became president. He then went after the previous HOA for funds spent on drinking...and they lived happily ever after.
45. Look, A Loophole
Here's the best piece of advice when dealing with an HOA. If they ever start giving you trouble, just threaten to put up a radio tower in your backyard. Like, let's say you just got a trampoline for your kids to enjoy and your HOA tells you that you have to take it down. Send them a letter back saying "Okay, but with all of the extra room I'll have in my yard, I'm planning to install a 40-foot HAM radio tower”.
Due to the HAM Radio Parity Act, as well as the Local Community Radio Act, both issued by the FCC, it is entirely within your rights to install infrastructure on property that aids in the use of private and public radio communications. The FCC's jurisdictions take precedence over local and community policy, and a fine of up to $300,000 can be charged towards any entity that attempts to impede on the right to install the tower.
Then end with, “If there are any input or concerns you have on my decision, please don't hesitate to contact me”. This is basically the easiest way to tell your HOA to screw off and leave you alone. The best part is that if they try to call your bluff, you can apply with the FCC to get the construction of a HAM radio tower subsidized. They have absolutely no power or authority to stop you, so they'll let just about anything slide if it means their property values don't plummet as a result.
46. High Cost, Low Reward
In the time I’ve been working on this housing development as a construction worker, the HOA was constantly driving up costs and causing delays. Still, they kept stringing us along—until one day, after many meetings between my bosses and their representative, we straight-up lost the contract. I'm not going to lie, it hurt eating hours of hard work to get cut off the building, all because someone changed their minds.
47. Some Neighborly Advice
Apparently, one of the members of our board, who into 10 years of living here and we've NEVER met, thought it was appropriate to stop by while prospective buyers were here. They wanted to let the realtor facilitating the open house know that our house was priced too low and that we needed to raise the price immediately. Oh, but she was just ramping up.
She then proceeded to be rude to a group of prospective buyers and to point out that we live very close to a major roadway. She then apparently treated them as if they would be idiots to think that you couldn't hear any road noise (you can't, but that is beside the point). I have her picture from my video doorbell. I am going to another board member’s house with it to find out who she is and where she lives.
I am then going to knock on her door and calmly tell her that if she ever sets foot in my house again, she will be trespassing and I will call the authorities. Can you imagine being so entitled that you feel like it's acceptable to interfere with someone trying to make the best home buying/selling decision for their family?! I am LIVID at this woman.
48. Animal House
Back in the 90s, my wife and I bought a new home that was part of an HOA. We made sure to read the HOA rules in advance, and thought we understood them. We kept a snake as a pet and wanted to be sure that there were no issues. The only pet restrictions stated were no livestock. Since we didn’t intend on owning chickens, cows, pigs, or other farm animals, we thought we were safe.
Soon enough, we found out we were so wrong. After living in the home for a few years, we expanded our animals to include additional snakes and assorted reptiles. Since they all were in locked cages, the neighbors never really knew about them. Eventually, the HOA board found out and sent us a letter demanding we get rid of them. Very stupid idea.
This is because this was in an area of north Phoenix, AZ, and wild snakes, lizards and other reptiles abounded. The people of the area were far more likely to run into a rattlesnake on their own front porches than to ever even see our ball python or bearded dragon. Still, the HOA board members viewed our reptiles as livestock, because they were a bunch of idiots.
Yee haw, let’s round up them corn snakes and herd them along! Bottom line, we were facing a big fight with them, one we couldn’t financially afford. Not ready to back down and lose our pets, we decided to reread the HOA paperwork again. That’s when we came up with a genius revenge. We discovered that, as HOA members, we were entitled to all financial records of the HOA.
So we sent them a registered letter requesting ALL financial records. All of a sudden, the board backed down and let us keep our livestock AKA reptiles. We never saw a single financial record, but we took the win. Not too long after, we moved out of that house and into another that didn’t have an HOA. We will never, ever buy a home that is part of an HOA again.
49. Winning The Battle
This story was shared with me years ago by a late family friend. He was an avid ham radio operator and had numerous antennas scattered around both his front and back yards. His subdivision was an older construction and did not have an HOA, so there were no issues with this. However, his lot backed up to another subdivision that was newer and did have an HOA.
You can probably see where this is going...One day he gets a knock on his door from one of these Karen types. She had just bought the house behind him, and needless to say, she was not a fan of all his antennas. She starts rattling off all these supposed HOA rules he's violating along with the typical "They're a safety hazard, eye sore, lowering my property value, hurting my feelings, etc" arguments.
He tried to politely explain that his house was in a different subdivision and was not part of their HOA, but she was having none of it. After a few weeks and a few more interactions that went just like the first one, he got a threatening form letter in the mail from the HOA’s lawyer. But they didn’t know one crucial thing. Coincidentally, his lawyer was a partner in that same firm.
One phone call got that line of communication shut down instantly. With that defeat, Karen finally gave up and he was able to go back to living in peace. Karen moved about a year later.
50. It’s What Inside That Counts
I hate this woman in my neighborhood. I have thrown her off my property twice over the eight years I’ve lived here and she has fined me twice for “visible trash cans from the street” because she could see them through the 1 mm gaps in my fence. I had to build my trash cans a shelter to finally appease her ridiculous interpretation of the HOA rules.
So it’s Sunday night and I put my trash cans out on the street. I have to do this after 6 pm because I don’t want to get fined, which I don’t think was an issue. We have two trash cans, one for normal garbage and one for specific recycling items. About 30 minutes after I put them down, I noticed a white SUV stopped in front of my house in the middle of the street.
By the time I went outside, I watched her get back in her vehicle and drive down to the next home that already had trash cans on the street. I watched her get out of her vehicle, take a picture of the bins in front of this house, open the recycling can, and snap another picture of its contents. She got back in her SUV and drove away. She definitely did the same thing at my house because she left my recycling bin and the other recycling bin open.
As far as I know, she has no authority to enforce the contents of a recycling bin as that is a city issue. But I guess we’ll see.
51. A Simple Solution
I bought a house in a (then) small town called Round Rock, Texas back in 2007. Now for a little background context: I was born and raised in the central Texas "hill country," and throughout my entire childhood, there had never been any HOAs. Some of the rich neighborhoods had Neighborhood Associations, which are far different from an HOA.
I went off to join the forces in 2001 and when I came back in 2006, HOAs were everywhere! Even the neighborhood where I grew up now had an HOA. My parents had moved to a new neighborhood, and my father had been constantly fighting with his HOA. Things like he built a tool shed in his own backyard without permission, and parked his car in his driveway instead of his garage.
That kind of stuff. So I'm seeing his constant struggle, and being raised in a culture where your property was YOUR property and NO ONE ELSE'S BUSINESS, I wanted no part of this HOA stuff. Anyway, it's now 2007, and I'm home from deployment and looking to buy a house. My number 1 priority is NO HOAs. After a couple of months, I find a home in a neighborhood without an HOA.
It surprised me because it was a fairly new neighborhood and it was also a relatively small neighborhood. It definitely looked like it would have an HOA, but it didn't. I move in, love the place, and proceed to go about my life. One day I'm talking to my neighbor about HOAs. I mention how one of the main reasons I bought that house was because it had no HOA.
My neighbor, who just so happened to be one of the first people to move to the neighborhood tells me, "Oh yeah, we had one of those when they first started building this place". I was surprised and asked him what happened to it. His answer stunned me. He says, "Well, back when there were still only about 20 or so homes built, there were two people who lived in the neighborhood that ran the HOA”.
He takes a long breath and starts smirking. “Well they were just awful people, and they were constantly harassing the other neighbors about grass being too high and trash cans being visible and silly stuff like that. So some of the other neighbors and I looked up the HOA by-laws and realized we could hold an election to replace the HOA council, and that's what we did”.
“I became president of the HOA and a couple other neighbors were council members. Once we were in charge, we just voted to dissolve the HOA. So now we don't have one".
52. Creature Comforts
My HOA, when established in 1999, made a 20-year contract with Comcast to bundle cable, not internet, into the HOA dues. Every house has Comcast no matter what. Every home in the HOA was paying $30 towards this per month in their dues. I’ve lived in this HOA since 2015 and every year the dues slowly crept up from $190 per month to now $290 per month.
Starting around September last year, I began talking to people and bringing it up in meetings that we could save money by getting out of the Comcast contract. A lot of my neighbors said they didn’t even have a cable box or use Comcast at all and I was in the same boat. The homes voted on it (2/3 majority) and we got rid of the Comcast contract.
The dues dropped by $30 per home the following month. Fast forward to today. Now there are about three to four Karens that are just blowing up the HOA page constantly whining and complaining about how they now have to pay more to have cable. You can’t win in HOAs because the people that live there (like me) are idiots. This is the first and last HOA I will ever live in.
53. More Than Just A Lemonade Stand
My own personal HOA Karen is requiring all residents of the neighborhood to have a garage sale. She is also requesting high-quality goods to be sold so that they "represent" the value of the neighborhood. Afterward, the HOA will be taking 10% of the earnings. We are also required to use Stripe for sale so she can verify what the 10% should be.
54. Free At Last
I just found out that "due to an administrative error," our lot and the two next to us weren't included in the original filing for our HOA—which was over 30 years ago. They sent that message, and along with that notice came an offer to join the HOA. It was *incredibly* gratifying to politely decline their kind offer. In fact, it took everything we had to not request a refund for 30 years (!) of past HOA dues.
To be fair, 27 years of those were paid by the previous owners. Guess it's time to paint the house purple and add a second storey...
55. Want To Tango Again?
I invited a friend to spend a few days here and the HOA considers that a "lease" even though I'm not charging my friend, obviously, who is just visiting from out of state. So I flipped the script on them. I just told them I'm posting an ad on Craigslist every day for a nightly intimate get-together, and that they can try to enforce that provision every time someone comes over.
I've sued the HOA before and won—It was glorious. They took 6+ months to return a security deposit and I got over triple damages. So they're a little skittish now. Hopefully they back off or, even better, they pay me again.
56. Over The Line
When I was a child we lived in Florida and our neighborhood had a really horrible HOA. I don't remember all of the details and I don't know precisely how an HOA works, but I do know that the biggest problem was one board member, in particular, I’ll name him Mr Creep. Mr Creep hated children, and had no regard for personal property whatsoever.
He would often yell at me whenever I went outside, one time while I WAS GOING TO A SCHOOL BUS. He also kept fining my dirt-poor father for every single infraction and inspected our house nearly daily to find things to fine for. The last straw, though, was a doozy. It came when he tried to inspect the inside of our house.
Without any by-laws on his side, he told my father that he must let him inside his home to inspect every single room by threat of monetary loss. Of course, dad said no, and he got yet another fine. After a few weeks, and many fines, we were supposed to go on vacation, but we found out at the last minute that after the last fine we couldn't afford to leave.
That night, I heard a window break. Dad ran downstairs, and then I heard my father's double-barrel go off. Mr Creep had waited until we were supposedly on vacation, and intended to break into our house when we were away!
He never bothered us again.
57. Closed Door Policy
My garage door was open—which is a violation in my HOA unless you are actively working in it—and I got a notice saying I wasn’t using my garage for its proper purpose. Its proper purpose is for vehicle storage. “Please remove storage items so the garage can be utilized properly for its purpose”. You guys want to tell me how to furnish my living room too?
Just want to add: My garage is fairly organized. We have a car maintenance/washing stuff area, camping stuff area, and a few random boxes. We can fit one car in the garage, but apparently, the garage needs to be available for two at all times.
58. Do It For The Gram
My HOA in the last neighborhood sent out a letter saying everyone needs to have their house painted this summer because the neighborhood is looking "a little dull". The next letter that came was a petition from someone in the neighborhood that they wanted everyone to sign. It was to tell the HOA that more than half of the neighborhood hasn't fiscally recovered from the pandemic and that they can essentially go screw themselves.
I was renting so the paint wouldn't have been my problem anyway. But it's just ludicrous to me that people who run these horrible Karen commissions think that they can just do this kind of stuff.
59. Be Careful What You Wish For
Last year at my townhouse in Washington state, I received a $50 fine from my HOA with a notice stating that I have potted plants on my (cement) front porch that need “catch basins”. The notice quoted the association rule 4.5 as stating “Potted plants on A and B Unit porches and patios must be contained within a planter that has a water catch basin”.
They gave four days to comply or get further fines. I found the requirement absurd considering the porch is cement, not wood, and my small plant pots don’t have a hole in the bottom for drainage. In addition, I noticed they didn’t state a requirement for what is commonly listed as a “plant saucer” in stores, but very specifically a “water catch basin”.
In order to avoid more arbitrary fines, I looked this specific type up in stores and online with Amazon. It appears a “water catch basin” is actually a storm drainage conduit having nothing to do with potted plants. The cheapest online being $49. The rule is written in such a way to allow the HOA to arbitrarily fine anyone for not having a specific impossible type specified in the rules. Oh, I gave them exactly what they asked for.
I have gone ahead and purchased the ugly storm drainage conduit kit and decided that I will lay it out on top of my porch this spring with a nice small potted plant sitting on top. I also hooked a bright piece of PVC pipe to it leading to my yard to make it “functional” and therefore be in full compliance with their rule as written.
60. Lost And Not Found
I'm in a condo with an HOA. This morning I found a nice lost pair of headphones in the gym. Too large to fit into the "lost and found" box slot. Our president is a thief, so I was leery of just passing them off to her and walking away. So, I found our last newsletter that was accidentally emailed to everyone instead of BCC'd. I just replied to this and asked if anyone lost a pair of headphones.
I said to give a description to me by email, and I'd return it to the rightful owner. All hell breaks loose. Since then, I've gotten a message from the president (the same one who has given me a threat from a lawyer never to speak to her again), DEMANDING I turn in the headphones to the very same lost and found box that they can't fit in. I then got a message from the manager, telling me not to use the mailing list and to just email her.
That way she can send the information to the current residents, as several on the email list are not residents and prefer to not be bothered with emails. Uh, whaaat? I'm not making this up, and it's probably going to get weirder.
61. Shut The Front Door
My HOA recently changed the front door code and refuses to provide it to any tenants or owners (I’m an owner). Now we all have to access our units through the back door with a key or via the underground garage. This minor inconvenience doesn’t really bother me, however, this creates a problem for the postal service and package delivery as you must provide them a door code for entry so they can access the mailroom inside the lobby.
I’ve witnessed USPS locked out a few times, and luckily I was there to let them in. But I wonder what happens if no one is there to let them in…this week I had two packages returned because UPS and OnTrac couldn’t access the mailroom. The regulations state that all owners have a non-exclusive easement of use and enjoyment in and to and throughout the Common Area and for ingress, egress, and support over and through the Common Area.
I’ve requested the new code multiple times, but the HOA has only given me radio silence. Is this an issue I can potentially win? My thoughts are: It’s a potentially dangerous situation if you get locked out, and there’s no other way to access your unit but from inside the building unless you follow someone in/out. Also, who prohibits access to your front door?
The conversation with UPS went: UPS: we need your front door code Me: this might sound crazy, but I’m not allowed to use my front door.
62. A Heavy Mistake
I purchased my first home, a condo. I have a dog who is about 40 lbs. As a responsible dog owner, I mentioned to the realtor I have a dog. I mentioned it at the open house to the other realtor, saying I have a dog, and I also asked him if there are let restrictions. Me knowing the area, I read the by-laws of the condo HOA to learn about their pet policy.
There was NOTHING about breed or size restrictions. Basically just, only one dog per unit, she can't be barking all night, and I have to clean up her poop. Cool. This place still works. About a week later I sign the papers, it's mine. I talked to someone from the COA yesterday. She told me horrible news. She informs me that their pet policy was changed a while ago and only dogs under 30 lbs are allowed.
I informed her I was NOT told this information—if I was I obviously would not have made the purchase—and it is NOT in their by-laws. She even admitted they need to make it clear to buyers (apparently they "emphasize" it with renters). I was seriously considering not even moving in and reselling, just cutting my losses. Leaving my dog is not an option.
So I contacted my realtor (who is also a family friend). She is willing to go with me to any meeting they force me into for breaking the by-laws (especially my dog being over the weight limit that did not exist). She looked back over the docs, and had her husband look over them (also a realtor, he's on the selling end of things) because she thought the changes in policy were weird too.
63. In The Weeds
I moved in earlier this year and amongst the chaos of moving, I did not realize the lawn was not kept from previous owners at all. There were BOATLOADS of weeds. We pulled them but not in time for our first notice. That’s fine, the letter said we needed to fix it within 14 days of the letter, which we definitely did since the letter was dated the day before we cleaned it up.
The second notice was sent because we didn’t pull them well enough I guess. Well, ok, we will try again. I saw a few visible weeds but nothing major. Still, I figured, ok sure, let’s just comply. Third notice. At this point, I have no idea what the heck they want from me. We pull any remaining weeds we see, which were maybe 2-3 strands and I went ahead and pulled literally anything that could be obstructive.
Fourth—fined. For weeds. The picture in the letter had no visible weeds. I ran to the spot they snapped the photo of, and to the eye of where they took the picture you couldn’t even SEE weeds. When you get super close you can see maybe two tiny weeds. I am appalled. At this point, it just feels like we’re being scammed or harassed. That, and/or their standards are ridiculously high and unreasonable.
Part of me feels like we’re being picked on for being new. But we’ve complied each time. The evidence of the picture is SO bad. I’m scared to repeal because I don’t want it to put a target on our backs. But I also don’t want to pay for a fine that is absolutely INSANE.
64. Power-Hungry
This is quite a long story, spanning through a period of a few years. About 20 years ago, my uncle bought an apartment in a new, fancy condo. Each floor was separated into two apartments, except for the top floor, which was a single apartment more than double the size, with a private attic (all other units had a storage area in the basement). He got the top floor.
The building had a large common hall, and a large yard all around it, so the owners decided to create an HOA to maintain the common areas and protect property value. My uncle has always been an independent man, so he wasn't keen on the idea, but he recognized it was necessary. However, he proposed an article in the statute allowing any member to recede from the HOA by paying a contribution and entering a limited agreement.
People under this contract would NOT be in the HOA, but would be required to contribute to common expenses (light, cleaning, administration, etc) and maintenance, though in this case the HOA was required to confront their respective quotes for the job before proceeding. Since the votes were based on surface owned, and he thus had the swing vote, the rule was included in the statute.
A couple of years go by without a hitch, the HOA works as planned, a couple more units are sold, everything is fine and dandy. Then disaster hits. Enter Karen. My uncle describes Karen as "your worst high school teacher, with a face like she was constantly smelling sewage". In reality, she was a plain woman in her 50s, dirty blonde, single, a pocket dog, and two cats, with a mildly annoyed expression frozen on her face and the fashion sense of Dolores Umbridge.
She was one of the original owners, but never had much interaction with the others. The first time my uncle took any notice of her was when she tried to introduce a rule preventing children from playing in the common hall, because "their rowdiness and the prospective damage they could cause might decrease property value". My uncle didn't like participating in the meetings, and he didn't have kids (yet), but that time he intervened.
He said that he'd rather have happy kids around, even if that meant losing a bit of value, and proposed creating an emergency fund for accidental damage instead. Karen was outvoted. While they were leaving the conference room, she threw a look at him "like she was about to breathe fire" on him. He disliked and distrusted her from that moment on. And she started trying to get revenge.
Karen tried several times to pass more restrictive rules, but she kept getting outvoted, even thanks to my uncle's double vote. But at the same time, she was doing something else: she was buying additional units and forcing her rules onto her tenants, including those regarding the common areas, so that meant that her tenants' kids couldn't play with the other kids in the common hall, for instance.
That one was nearly impossible to enforce, and lead to complaints. Over time, thanks to her by now four votes, Karen got a seat in the HOA. That was an alarm bell for my uncle, who filed to leave the HOA, as per his own article, on the same day. And not a moment too soon. That article was canceled even before his request was even processed.
The HOA then initially denied his request, and he had to sue and go to arbitration to prove he had filed his request before the rule was expunged. But from that moment, he was free. Over the next couple of years, he had to go to arbitration twice more, once because the HOA demanded payment for a renovation without giving him the chance to present an alternative quote, and once because Karen and her newfound clique kept harassing him with fines he didn't have to pay.
He won both times, and Karen was beyond hate. Every time they met each other, she looked at him with such contempt, he actually started fearing for his safety. But it was about to get so much worse. During this period, Karen's increasingly restrictive rules had caused a high turnover of tenants and owners. Even if everything was still in pristine condition (Karen was very good at that), the HOA rules were a hard sell.
This had decreased the value of the apartments A LOT, and Karen used this to buy even more lots (she ended up with six total). When my aunt got pregnant, they decided that the condo was not really kid-friendly anymore, so they decided to sell. As I mentioned, the property value had dropped in the recent years, but evidently not my uncle's apartment.
When he put it on the market, he advertised as "FREE FROM LOCAL HOA". He ended up selling it to one of the former residents for almost double the price per square foot than any other apartment in the building. Happy ending? Wait, there's more. A couple of weeks after moving, my uncle received a call from the very distraught new owner, saying that members of the HOA are harassing him.
He said that Karen has threatened to sue him because the HOA has a (new) rule that all new owners MUST sign up for the HOA. My uncle (verbatim): "...So? You're not part of the HOA, you don't need to care about the rules they make". New owner: "...[pauses as he processes the information]... ... HAHAHAHAHA!" They chatted a bit, and the new owner, after enduring her for years, was quite happy about the prospect of screwing with Karen and the powerless HOA.
65. Trying To Pull The Wool Over Their Eyes
These idiots. So we were trying to sell our townhome. We went through all the processes and such. We get through three attempts and months of nightmares and were finally getting there. My lender, who is also my buyer's lender, calls me up. "Hey, do you know anything about the litigation?" Me: What litigation?" Him: "Your HOA is suing the builder".
Me: “Do you have the case number?" Numbers. Computer typing. Cursing. Lots of cursing. These jerks are suing the builder and all the sub-contractors. Not suing someone who did something. No, suing everybody. Which, hey, the judge will see that. So why did this pop up? Because they lied on the documents for the loan. So here's the fun part.
Several houses have sold over the last year. My lender told me that this type of lawsuit is a hard stop on all loans. So they have lied on many documents, and it started over a year ago. Once I get my living situation sorted I look forward to snitching with all the righteous fury I have. I hate people.
66. Not So Free And Clear
I sold my house in a neighborhood with an HOA in May of ‘21. Since then, I have been contacted 8-10 times by forwarded letters, certified letters, and phone calls regarding infractions and fines that pertain to my old property. Every time, I contact them and explain that I no longer own that house or even live in that city. They apologize and tell me they will update their records, yet they fail to do so.
The last two times, I have been contacted via phone and they have threatened me with fines if I don’t rectify violations. To say the least, my reaction wasn’t very nice. I explained to them that I don’t like being harassed and to not contact me ever again. Well, they contacted me again today and I’m about to lose my mind. I was 100% paid up and had no outstanding balances when I sold my house.
The HOA sent a release to the title company that I had no outstanding balance and that there were no liens on the property.
67. Head In The Treehouse
My neighborhood in Florida had a very good HOA. For the past 20 years that I’ve lived here, they’ve done a good job making sure the neighborhood looks nice, throwing an annual block party, and generally minding their own business. Until this crotchety old guy down the street achieved his lifelong dream of being on the HOA board.
He would take his nightly walk with his phone always out, documenting each and every infraction. I wish I was joking when I say he was out there with a tape measurer looking at how tall grass was in different yards. This is a guy that would speed up when he saw small children playing in the street, and several of the parents on the street had already lodged complaints with the authorities about this.
My father always wanted us to have a tree house to play in when we were children. Sadly, he passed when my youngest brother was only two, and the one he built in our backyard had to be torn down due to hurricane damage. Luckily, my family planted an oak tree in our front yard right after we moved in, and about 15 years later it was big enough to put a small treehouse in.
I built a simple platform with some supporting legs and a wooden ladder for my youngest brother to play in with his friends. One day, while I was washing my car, an official from city code enforcement shows up. He said he was summoned by the HOA because of a “structure violation” being erected. After talking with him for a bit we came to the conclusion that not only was the treehouse fine, it was none of the city’s business.
The guy honestly seemed rather annoyed that he’d been called out for this. But it wasn’t close to over. Next, we started getting threatening letters in the mail from the HOA’s lawyer, threatening big fines for the perceived damage to the property value in the area. It was something to the tune of $100 a day for every day that the structure wasn’t taken down.
My mother not being able to afford a lawyer and me not knowing better, we eventually complied when the letters started coming daily. I’m glad my brother got to enjoy it for a little bit, but I was so bitter at that old guy down the street. A few months back, My mother called me and said that the old guy finally passed, alone, with no family to speak of. His house is scheduled to be demolished by the new owners.
I honestly couldn’t be happier that any trace of his presence is erased from this neighborhood. My brother is too old for a treehouse now, but I might just build one to spite his memory.
68. The Fine Print
We put in an offer on a house. Got accepted, had a closing date, put in earnest money. Two days later, their lawyer sent over an email stating they forgot to disclose the HOA, and if we could just initial and send it back to add to the contract. We said send the by-laws. Long story short, the $70 dollar annual payment meant we can’t park a truck in the driveway, have unapproved flowers in landscaping, have a guest for more than seven days… the list goes on.
So just a PSA, read everything. We were only able to back out free and clear because it wasn’t in the original contract.
69. Your Own Worst Enemy
How ridiculous. I got a letter stating my grass needs to be maintained between 2-4 inches and they are going to start assessing fines after X days and pay for a company to come mow my lawn at my own cost and expense. There’s just one thing. The HOA already pays a company to mow all of the grass. So the landscapers must have forgotten a patch and now some Karen on the board reported it.
70. An Unwanted Visitor
Every few weekends, my manager comes over to my house to help work on a side project for the company. When he comes over, he parks in front of my house. The house across from mine just happens to be one of the HOA volunteers. She tends to take her job a bit too seriously. Anyways she complains to my wife and I every time she sees the car like clockwork.
She will either call or wait until she sees us outside. The first time she even took it upon herself to write a letter about how it’s better for everyone if we can keep up a certain image in the neighborhood. I explained to her that he is my manager after the letter about a year ago. She accused me of lying since I drive a nice truck and have a nice house, so she knows I bring in a decent salary.
She assumed that my manager made more therefore he "needs to own a nice car". I then explain that my manager makes 250k per year and drives a beater because he does not care about his image. She goes on some rant about how she goes into massive debt to keep up the right image for the neighborhood and that it’s ignorant of my manager to save his money and buy a beater when people like her are paycheck to paycheck to keep up with the Joneses.
Lucky for me, I can’t get fined but I still find it quite annoying that she is worried about the cars that my guests drive. I told my manager about her constant complaining every time he is over. He joked that he will spray paint his car with chalk next time he comes over to make it look as trashy as possible. I told him to dress in his worst clothes as well and slowly get out of his car to make sure she notices.
71. Not Who You Say You Are
Our HOA president is being a jerk and sending out violations like crazy. But I just had a genius idea. It dawned on me that long ago, I overheard him say that he was renting from his brother. I looked up the deed to his property, and yes, in fact, he is a renter, and the HOA covenants state that only owners can be members of the association and thus the board.
I'm curious if I should pay our president a visit and let him know or have my lawyer send him a nice letter.
72. What A Load Of Garbage
Our HOA has FORBIDDEN anybody from putting our garbage and/or recycling cans to the curb before midnight, but the garbage collectors come between 6-7 AM. We have requested to be able to put our garbage to the curb at 10 PM because of health issues within our household. Their response: "We cannot allow garbage out before midnight because there is a potential for bears to be drawn to our neighborhood".
They have also “allowed” us to place our garbage cans on the side of our garage (as opposed to the sidewalk) as long as we pay the garbage collectors extra money to walk to our garage to obtain the cans and return them to the garage door. So for some reason (that they have yet been able to provide evidence to support), the bears will only be attracted to the garbage if the cans are at the sidewalk and not if they're next to the garage door.
73. Keep On Trucking
I do some accounting work for an HOA management company on the side. There is an HOA board president who wanted an association member's tenant fined for a truck. He said it violated the regulations as it was a commercial truck because it had a ladder rack. The maintenance manager disagreed with the president but couldn't quite think of an articulate way of expressing it, so he asked me to help him out.
I reviewed the regulations and they didn't define the term, so I checked the state definition. The definition was narrow enough that even if the tenant used it for business purposes, it still didn't meet the commercial vehicle definition. I let the president know that it didn't meet the criteria. He said that didn't matter because it was unsightly (shifted goalposts) and that I needed to fine the member.
I knew full well these criteria didn't actually matter to him and that he was simply being vindictive at this point. I came up with a plan to get him good. My response was "Well, give me the exact definition you're using for unsightly and I'll fine any owners whose vehicles meet it". At that point, he knew I had him, as his good friend and fellow board member had a total beater.
We're talking about a mobile rust pile here. The truck he was complaining about was a Rolls Royce by comparison. He knew that he couldn't give criteria that would exclude his friend. So, did he give up? Nope. He simply DECREED that we fine the person and that his word is final and the matter isn't to be discussed any further. At this point, he had stopped CC'ing the board.
So, what did I do? Well, I CC'd the entire board my response along with the email chain up to that point. It was simply "[HOA President], Committing such an action would expose the HOA to unnecessary financial risk. You, the board and I have a fiduciary responsibility to the HOA members to not expose the organization to such risks”.
“This is an extremely ill-advised action, so should you not respond, I will execute it in an ethical way that eliminates this risk. The only way I can think of to do this is to fine any and all vehicles that match (or are worse) how unsightly this truck is. I have prepared a list of members' names and unit numbers that will be fined along with this truck".
On the list, of course, was his friend and fellow board member. He decided that the matter wasn't resolved and that he would respond one last time, to drop the subject. I wonder what his friend thought when he caught up on the email conversation and saw that the president had gone down a path that could've led to his being fined.
74. Taking Him For All He’s Worth
My HOA cut the lock off of my storage unit, which is in the common area of the basement. I had some TV boxes, golf clubs, and camping gear in there with a padlock. I go down to put something in my storage unit—and made a chilling discovery. I realize that all of my belongings have been removed and there is a new thick chain and padlock attached to the now-empty storage locker.
There are other empty storage units that have no lock whatsoever. The previous owner left a vacuum and screens for the windows for me in the unit. The vacuum was removed but the screens remain. When I ask my board I get no response to my emails. This is also the unit the previous owner told me is mine. There are now rules in the by-laws that say the board can relocate my storage unit.
Is there any justification as to how this is not breaking and entering? Fortunately, nothing was stolen or damaged so that's good. I can't afford a lawyer and don't think I even have anything to go after them for as nothing was damaged and I have no proof it was the board who cut my lock and removed my belongings.
75. Look Before You Leap
So my neighbor (brand new to the neighborhood) put up a campaign sign. Less than 24 hours later, the president walked over and told him it needs to be removed and showed him a vague item in our regulations. Unfortunately, he took it down. But knowing I served on the board and know my stuff, he asked me to take a look. Well, the president was referencing the by-laws in the section about easements.
Not our governing residents. I told him that they are flat-out wrong and this does not apply to lots. I told him he can put it back up. He even gave me a sign so I can put it up. Then I started to fight them HARD. I emailed the board reminding them that they are incorrect. A day later, they walk to his house with a letter from the lawyer. And it is GOOD.
It’s basically saying, "We are in really HOT water, please forgive the oversight and pretty please don't sue us". Our president has such a god complex and always puts our association in potential litigation. She is such a liability to our association. I am pretty sure she NEVER talked to the other board members before she told him to remove the sign, nor our association attorney.
She thinks she is the landlord to everyone’s property. It was nice seeing them have to go over there and grovel to him!
76. No Garden Of Eden
This happened to my girlfriend’s parents. Her father wanted to plant a vegetable garden. HOA rules state that a garden can be no larger than 8'x8'. Plants can't grow taller than 4' so it limits what he could plant. He measured out an appropriately-sized patch in the backyard. I came over with a few buckets of compost and my tiller to help him set it up.
Turns out that the old hag next door was angry the garden was bordering her property and complained to her friend on the HOA board. Two men from the HOA came by last night for an inspection and measured the garden as 8'-4"x8'-2". We must have accidentally expanded it when tilling. They fined her parents $350 and told them that they have to buy sod and cover up the garden by end of the week because they "lost the privilege to have a garden this year" and will be fined again every week they don't comply.
77. Not My Circus, Not My Monkeys
I’ve been in a condo for eight years, even served as treasurer, but haven't been on the board in four years. I went under contract when selling my condo, and inspection found moisture above all the windows/doors in the condo. It seemed like a siding issue—no worries, it's a condo association that regulates and is responsible for the exterior, they'll take care of it right? I soon found out how wrong I was.
Buyers wanted written assurances it'll be handled and any mold mitigated. The agent who gets in touch with the HOA gets the runaround, I get a phone call. Supposedly they just that week got a study that said no homes were properly wrapped and they need to do a massive siding project. My agent then gets an email stating that if it’s the windows, it's my responsibility to fix it.
But it’s not the windows. There is also a big battle over what happens with theoretical mold remediation. The HOA manager didn't want to commit to anything. Buyers though are understanding, they ask for an increase in seller’s assistance, so I am willing to take a $2,500 hit to be done with the HOA. We sign and are happy and great...NOT.
Today I get a call from my realtor. The buyers met with the HOA over the weekend to talk about this project and reportedly were spooked by the need for a special assessment, bankrupting the HOA, mold, etc. The HOA manager, in my agent's words, scared the heck out of them so they withdrew their offer. My HOA has a rental cap, and I have no idea if I'll be able to rent.
I doubt a lawsuit will get anywhere, I'm moved into my new place, I just hate that I made an HOA my starter home, I don't think I'll ever be rid of it. My agent wants to relist, but I needed some time to process.
78. Too Close For Comfort
My in-laws live on a golf course that is a private membership. The weird thing is living on the course does not get you a membership to it and you still have to pay HOA and membership fees to do both. In any case, my in-laws have an in-ground pool that is right below one of the greens and a hole. Think a 10-12 foot hill up to the green from the pool level.
So many entitled people will yell at my in-laws as well as us when we are over that we have to be quiet when they are putting. We just ignore them. The HOA and the club have sent letters as well as attempted to walk into the locked backyard while we were out in the pool to yell at us but were only told to leave the property. Nowhere in the HOA laws does it say you need to accommodate golfers while on your private property.
They once had a Karen who was both on the HOA board and part of the golf club yell and fake choke on the green while my father-in-law was grilling.
79. Something’s Fishy
About 10 years ago, my dad bought a condo in Orlando to rent out to theme park goers, and he used the HOA’s recommended rental management company (RMC). After a year, he reviewed his costs/profits and found that he more or less broke even, which surprised him because the condo was only vacant for two separate weeks that year. He tried to get in touch with the RMC to see if they could go over his unit’s costs, but the owner seemed to dodge dad’s calls.
Dad looked to see if the HOA recommended any other management companies. He made an alarming discovery. He found that the HOA by-laws restricted them from using any others except RMC. That raised a red flag for dad, so he went and dug up information on RMC and found the HOA board chair (HBC) was a co-owner of the company.
Dad emailed HBC, pointing out the conflict of interest and insisting the board needed to allow homeowners to use an alternate company. The guy replied back with something like, “Sorry not sorry. If you’re unhappy with the HOA leadership, you can attend the meeting on this date, when we will hold a vote for the other three board positions”. Oh, it was on.
Dad was mad and while digging through emails to build evidence for small claims court, he stumbled upon an email that had been sent to all the homeowners. However, HBC had forgotten to BCC the mailing list, so all the homeowners’ emails were visible. Dad sent a mass email and found lots of similar frustrations, and he walked into the election meeting with an insurmountable voting bloc.
They replaced all three members, who had all been enabling HBC, but they had to deal with HBC still because the board chair was not up for re-election yet. HBC was angry but was still trying to play innocent. Dad then recommended to the three new board members that they vote to hire a forensic accountant to go over the HOA’s books. HBC said, “Why should we waste fees on that?”
And Dad replied with, “So we can put you behind bars”. He said they eventually voted HBC out but never got anywhere with court repercussions; HBC cowered away and the drama fizzled. The end result was good though, because dad has been making good money off the rental in the years since. And he was a hero to that community.
They wanted to make him the new chair, but he declined since he lives out of state.
80. Taking Matters Into His Own Hands
I live in an HOA neighborhood that has a big common space in the middle with a gazebo. The HOA fees go mostly towards maintaining this space, however, there are two bushes planted right beside the road that the HOA has let grow to the point that the bushes hang out into the road. Due to how tight the road can be when people are parked on the street, you have to scrape your car down these bushes to get out of the neighborhood.
Today, this madlad of a neighbor came through and just screwed the bushes up in order to force the HOA to do something about them finally. He is my new hero!
81. David And Goliath
I live with my parents in a large (~500 house) gated community. For the past 20 years, the HOA has done a good job keeping the roads, sidewalks, pools, and small clubhouse maintained. A large number of houses overlook an old and well-loved city park, where a number of ducks, geese, and the occasional lost pelican or stork live. The park is completely unconnected to the HOA or gated community.
Early this year, park management announced they were going to be doing extensive deep maintenance, like cleaning and restocking the lakes, pruning trees, cleaning the gravel paths, etc. Included in this was a complete teardown and reconstruction of the restrooms, which my dad swears were from the 70s. Enter “Lucy”, a 30-something who got elected to the HOA board last year.
She somehow thought that the park was administered by the HOA, and thus all plans needed to be seen by her for approval. She was very vocal about her feelings on this on Nextdoor, and got together a small posse of supporters, ignored all the naysayers, and tried to shut down the operation via calls to the original community developer. When that failed, Lucy dreamed bigger.
Her next target was the city, but the city the development is not the same city that runs the park, thanks to legacy city limits. Obviously, construction and renovation have been going on without a hitch, so Lucy takes matters into her own hands and uses the tiny fragment of authority she has as a board member to file a lawsuit on behalf of the HOA against the government agency responsible for the park.
One problem: While the park is on the other city’s land, it’s actively run and managed by the state, because it was designated before the city was incorporated. So Lucy filed a lawsuit based on HOA policy against the state of California. There was an emergency board meeting called to deal with it, but due to scheduling errors, not enough members showed up to achieve quorum, although plenty of residents did.
Lucy refused to concede, and she couldn’t be removed from her position, so everyone went home angry. Yesterday, at the regular board meeting one week later, the residents learned the lawsuit had been tossed out of court, much to everyone’s relief. But the community is now on the hook for an unknown amount of fees. Lucy wasn’t at the second meeting, nor has she been active on Nextdoor, so we’re all hoping it’s over.
82. It’s A Dog’s Life
For context, I live in a condo complex and often walk my dogs in the subdivision across the street. I’ve been walking them there at least a few times a week for the past two years. They are always leashed and I always pick up their poop, and I have a friendly relationship with several residents in the community. Yesterday, a real-life HOA Karen basically stalked me.
She then chewed me out for walking my dogs in the neighborhood. She was upset because her yappy little dog barks when we walk past her house. In a very nonsensical rant, she told me I’m not allowed to walk my dogs in her neighborhood because she “pays fees”. It’s not a gated community and the streets are not private, according to the county website.
I know every community is different, but I couldn’t find their by-laws online. I would have been more than happy to stop passing her house, but she was so unbelievably rude that I’m considering passing by once or twice more before I find a new route.
83. Judgy Judy
This lady Judy thinks she is the judge and jury of the pool in our HOA. Her methods are ridiculous. Not only does she lock the pool for a day as punishment if someone from the renters’ side jumps the fence after hours, but she also sits and watches people, particularly racialized people. She goes so far as to follow them to their townhouse to make sure they actually have a key and aren't just faking.
Very strange that she doesn't watch my white husband, but she watches me and our neighbors. This is happening almost weekly. She also put a padlock and writes passive-aggressive notes as to why we can't swim in the pool we pay for. The only people she's punishing are the people that actually pay for the pool keys. She is the HOA vice president and has nothing better to do than marshal the pool.
I called the management company to get to the bottom of this. Their response stunned me. They had no idea about it, and were baffled as to why she took this upon herself. They are sending out an email soon with updated pool hours and rules but I'm not sure if this will deter Judy. I just don't understand. Is this normal?! It seems over the top to me but this is our first (bought, paid, have the deed, no mortgage) home.
We always pay our fees on time. We've lived here nearly a decade and I regret voting for this woman on our board. The pool is open today and I took several neighbors that didn't pay for a key because Judy is on vacation. We had a great time with no Judy. I talked to some of the teens (16 and up can swim without supervision) that came to the pool and suggested they record Judy if she follows them, and they can come to my house if they don't feel safe.
I will be taking my phone to the pool from now on. I didn't before because my house is right next to it.
84. See Ya Never
A number of years ago, we moved into a subdivision with what seemed like a pretty-laid back HOA. Now, the former owner was a first-class jerk who would never win the good neighbor award. Among the worst things he did was pave most of the front yard because he got tired of the neighbors whining at him to cut his grass. About six months later, I got a letter from the HOA telling us the driveway was "out of compliance".
I called the number in the letter and asked what they meant. They said it was far too large and needed to be reduced in size. Me: "Okay, so just let me know when the contractors will be here so I can move my cars". HOA: "No, you're the one who needs to pay to have it reduced in size”. Me: "Sorry, there were no covenant violations listed in the settlement papers, so there was no problem then, which means there's no problem now".
HOA: "But, but…" Me: "Let me know when they'll be here and I'll move my cars". Never heard from them again, and that was 17 years ago.
85. Stormy Weather
I received an email from my HOA saying each unit owner will be assessed a Reconstruction Loss Assessment of $12,700 for replacing several units’ roofs. Following a hailstorm in June of 2021, the HOA filed a claim with their current insurer, which was ultimately denied, and their insurer attributed the damage to a storm in June of 2018.
The reason each unit owner is being assessed $12.7K is because the claim did not meet the deductible to allow for any payout. I bought this property in August of 2020 and was not made aware of any damages that occurred to the community prior to moving in. My insurance policy covers up to $15K for Reconstruction Loss Assessments.
However, since the damage was attributed to a storm that occurred more than two years before I bought my property, I cannot file a claim under my policy as it was not active at the date of the incident. The insurance agent said that it would need to be filed under the previous owner’s policy as it was active during that time, but I don’t have any means to contact the previous owner.
I sent an email to my HOA management stating that since I was not the owner of the property at the time of the damage, it would be on the previous owners that are responsible to file the claim. I asked if they would reach out to the previous owners to get that claim filed. The HOA management responded that the only information they had on file was a phone number that was disconnected and that they were sorry they could not reach them...
The HOA posted the $12K to my account and I told them I am changing my auto-pay setting to the flat monthly fee and I’m ignoring the full balance. It doesn’t make any sense to me that I would be liable for $12K for damages that occurred 2+ years before I bought the home. They also said, “You are not the only owner that is in this situation. They have had to look at financing options with their lenders or other financial institutions to deal with the assessment”.
86. Target On Your Back
Our condo association is evil and power-hungry. A few years ago, they called Child Services and tried to get my sister and I to go to foster care. Now, I have a service dog for my disability. It was fine for the first year, but then they turned downright nasty. They started issuing fines, and we are up to $6,000 dollars now. I know exactly why it’s happening, too.
One of our neighbors is on the board and for the past year, she has been taking photos and videos of me and my dog. Yesterday, I was leaving the car and I saw her in her window recording me. Someone put up a paper saying no dogs in our unit. I took it down and they fined us for destroying their property. Oh, and the cherry on top?
They violated HIPPA and talked to my therapist without my consent. They now send angry emails to us every day and send threats to foreclose. This association will harass anyone who doesn’t fit their mold.
87. Hello Entitlement, My Old Friend
Years ago, I moved into a new house in a fairly new development and foolishly thought it was the right thing to do and went to the first HOA meeting. The outcome was my worst nightmare. I somehow came out of that meeting the newly elected HOA president, a position I loathed for the 18 months I put up with it. As president, I was pretty lax on what was allowed.
As long as you aren't asking to paint your house all black with a giant middle finger on the side, we are cool. My main concern was keeping the common areas maintained (eg stormwater runoff pond, a couple of green spaces), everything else was just noise. Now the development one street over from ours had a much more, let's say "aggressive" HOA, but to be fair they had a lot more houses and common property to maintain including four different playgrounds.
In my community, we didn't have any. Somehow the president in that other neighborhood got my number and I had to have this conversation with her: Me: Hello? Her: Hi, I'm the HOA president for XXXX community, I need to talk about a problem that affects both of us. Me: Ok........ Her: We have had a lot of kids that I know that aren't a part of our community playing basketball at one of our playgrounds and it's very disruptive and keeping our kids from using it. I know a lot of those kids are probably coming from your neighborhood.
Me: What am I supposed to do about that? Her: Well I have asked them many times to leave, but they just don't listen to me. So here is what we should do, next time this happens and I know they are from your neighborhood I am going to call you and I need you to go over and tell them to leave. I literally didn't say anything for a minute, I was so stunned she thought this was a good idea.
Me: No, I will not ask some kids to leave your playground. If those kids are not leaving the playground when you ask what makes you think they are going to leave when I ask? Her: (getting huffy now) So you are saying you are not going to help with this problem, what do you propose we do then? Me: Get rid of the basketball court, if there is a basketball court, kids will go there to play.....period.
Her: Well, that is not acceptable! Me: Well short of hiring private security or calling officers every time you think someone is trespassing, I don't have any solutions for you. Her: I can't believe you won't help your fellow HOA president! <click>. Ironically, my wife and I moved into that same neighborhood recently and this woman was one of the first people to greet us.
I am pretty sure she doesn't realize it was me she was talking to years earlier.
88. It Wasn’t Me
When my wife and I were first married, we lived in a condominium complex with a very stupid and uptight HOA. Our condo was owned by my parents who rented it to us (the only reason we could afford it), and most of our neighbors were retirees. Most of our neighbors were actually very sweet, and many we even considered almost adopted grandparents.
However, there were also a bunch that had nothing but time on their hands to nitpick every tiny problem with the place. Unfortunately, these are also the types of people who apply for HOA positions, and the “wonderful” part about being the only young couple in the building was that we got blamed for EVERYTHING. Here are a few incidents.
After we were living there for a couple of months, I received a knock on the door from the HOA head. He at least was reasonable but often uninformed and would act on rumors spouted by his crazy board). He was asking to come in. He then proceeded to give me a lecture about the noise our dog was making, how they had received several complaints, and how we would be fined if we did not calm it down more. Here’s the outrageous part.
We didn’t own a dog. When he realized this, the guy apologized and left; however, we still received two more written warnings from the HOA board until they finally figured it out. The second frustrating incident was shortly after the birth of my son. My wife had had a c-section and was sleeping in the living room because she could not climb into our tall bed.
One evening while she was sitting there, she smelled a strong smell of smoke that made her nauseated. When I walked outside our condo into the lobby to check, I noticed a heavy haze there. My wife was very sensitive to smell at the time and the c-section made puking agonizing. Since the building had strict indoor smoke rules, I actually reported the issue via email to the HOA hoping they would do something about it.
And what do they do? I couldn’t believe the outcome. Two days later we get a written letter citing complaints resulting from the haze, demanding we stop otherwise we get fined. Even though we were the first ones to complain! We then get no response when we reply and proceed to get two more warnings (the smell became a regular evening occurrence).
They eventually did send us a fine which they quickly dropped once my dad (the actual homeowner) gave them a very angry phone call. The smell never stopped. Finally, when it was time for us to move out, we informed them two weeks in advance that we would have a moving crew (a bunch of friends) coming through. This was in compliance with their rules so they could notify residents and provide covers for the elevator so they wouldn’t be damaged.
I never hear a response. Two days before the move, I ran into the new HOA head and remind her of our weekend moving plans. She acknowledges that she received my email and says she will provide me with the equipment the morning of the move. She never does and so we move without it, and we do it without damaging the elevator. And what do they do?
Try to fine my parents for not providing advance notice of the move. That one also didn’t go down well for them…There were also tons of other petty things, too. Comments about us being noisy late at night even though we both worked and went to bed early, lots of accusatory questions about things out of place, etc. We were essentially the first pick to blame whenever something went wrong without an immediate explanation.
I’m so glad we no longer have to deal with them.
89. We All Know One Of Those
So we're sitting in the cafeteria having breakfast just talking and my co-worker brings up how his neighbors are being a pain and he took pictures for the HOA. This dude literally walked on everybody's property and took the most ridiculous pictures. No joke, he took pictures of a single weed sprouting up in a driveway. Halfway through this roll of 50 pictures, it gets better.
He starts complaining about people having trash cans in front of their houses. I ask him why it's a problem and he tells me he doesn't want to look at them and having the cans there will devalue his house. I tell him a simple fix is to just not look at them and mind his own business. Honestly, I was floored. This guy seemed like a decent dude but after this, I am just dumbfounded.
Who the heck complains about stuff like that? He literally walked up onto people’s porches to take pictures of some green mold on their railings. It looked like it hadn't been cleaned in maybe two months, that’s it. I honestly can't believe these people exist.
90. Unfriendly And Dangerous
This happened about three years ago. I was living with my dad before moving out. This is in central Texas a little north of Austin on a county road. My family had lived there for almost 30 years, long before any thought of a neighborhood even existed. We have our two gate posts painted purple, which means keep out for anyone who doesn’t know.
We also kept the gate dummy locked to avoid unwanted guests. The most recent neighborhood at that time had a rather strict HOA that luckily up until that point we had the pleasure of never dealing with as we lived two miles down the road from the back entrance to said neighborhood. One day on my day off while my dad was at work, I heard a knock at the door.
I looked through the peephole to see a woman in her mid-40s dressed like a businesswoman. I assumed it was someone offering to buy the property as we live on 20 acres. I opened the door and she said, “I’m blah blah blah with the neighborhood HOA, I just wanted to speak to the property owner about the purple posts. It doesn’t really match the aesthetic of the neighborhood”.
I was so lost. I started to talk and then was left speechless. Her reply floored me. This witch snaps, “Can you speak?” in the most malicious tone I’d ever heard. So I said “Lady, purple posts mean ‘keep out’ and that gate was dummy locked. I don’t know how long you’ve been in Texas but your actions in the past five minutes would’ve counted as a signed death wish to a lot of people on this county road, including my dad”.
I paused, then said, “We’re not a part of your stupid HOA, we live TWO FREAKING MILES down the road from it. If we want to spray paint our trees red and grass blue, we can. So turn around, close the gate behind you and screw off”. She started to talk some more, so I slammed the door in her face and watched her leave from the window.
A few months later, a friend of mine moved into that neighborhood and told me that my dad and his property are regularly posted on their Facebook page as “unfriendly and dangerous”.
91. Not A Smart Thing To Do
I've never had a problem with my HOA before, as they usually stay out of everyone's business. My HOA has a nice park that our HOA fee (only $10/month) funds, which is really the whole point of this neighborhood having an HOA. It's a nice green space with a canal, tennis courts, basketball courts, and a large open field. Recently, a breeding pair of burrowing owls made their nest there.
As per Florida law, they protected the nest by putting up some caution tape. Annoyingly, people have been letting their dogs into that area, but generally, the owls have been fine and happy. They had chicks this summer; I'm not sure if they have left the nest yet or not. On Friday, I was walking my dog and saw some landscapers in the area, so I turned around and walked the other way to give them space.
Saturday, I took my dog out and saw that they had clear-cut the whole nest! I'm furious. Those owls are a threatened species and have state protections. Rationally, it may have just been a miscommunication between the HOA, the landscaping company, and the guys who actually do the work...but I'm still mad. I reported them and hopefully, some action is taken and the nest is better protected.
92. The Shoes Are Coming Off
My reject hall pass monitors are at it again. We’ve had a number of issues with the hypocrisy of our HOA board. Conflicts of interest to be specific. A petition went around to remove the corrupt board, but not enough votes were put into place due to her strong-arming residents into signing a counter-petition. So, now the board is going after anyone who signed the petition.
See, the management company told the board who signed it, another conflict of interest. My wife is a Buddhist. Every place we have lived unfortunately has had an HOA, but none have ever bothered her for following her rituals. As a Buddhist, your home is your temple where you pray. Your shoes do not come into the home. We live in an 18-unit condo complex.
Each unit has a deep alcove. My wife and I leave our shoes in our alcove. This has started a total firestorm. Just constant threats of fines. We had to go to an appeal and for the fourth time had to explain this is due to our religious observation. We pointed out the hypocrisy of the board members keeping things in common areas, as where we keep our shoes are not even common areas.
The alcove is not cleaned, but they keep redefining what is a common area and what is not. The president lied about who filed the complaint (we have a recording of her telling us who filed the complaint) and they signed an affidavit saying they never complained. The rule they are attempting to enforce is a very vague, up-to-interpretation type rule that changes constantly to benefit themselves.
We have a lawyer and previously gave the president a cease-and-desist order. So she now has her lackeys coming after us. We’ve spoken to everyone in the community, and they are beyond angry. We informed them (both the board of directors and the community) that we will not be paying their fines and if they want to hurt the community by being bigoted, court action will be taken.
93. All Bark And No Bite
I posted on my neighborhood Facebook group this morning about a person who lets their large dog outside to bark constantly from 6:30 to 7:15 am every morning. It wakes me up every day. It has been going on for months, but I also pointed out it has been well below freezing outside most of the days this has happened in the last two weeks.
I do not know which house it is coming from, and every house has a fully fenced-in backyard. I do not hate dogs, and we also have one. Within an hour, my post was deleted, I received a message chastising me, and a four-paragraph diatribe about my post and how our neighborhood is full of nothing but great people and our Facebook group is for uplifting and positive comments.
It also said the entire HOA board discussed my post and decided to take it down. At 8:30 in the morning within 30 minutes of it being posted. I would like to thank my HOA for teaching me a valuable lesson: posting on Facebook is actually more disrespectful and offensive to your neighbors than letting your dog bark incessantly every morning for months. Who knew?
94. A Sign Of The Times
So there I was driving at about 45mph in between neighborhood exits when a 15-year-old kid pulled out in front of me even though he had a stop sign. I had to choose: slam into his driver-side door, or swerve—so naturally, I swerved. When I did, my brakes locked up and I lost control slamming into and over a curb and smashing into a granite sign.
The car was totaled. I was bleeding, but we were right next to a cop shop, so I figured officers would be there soon. Well, I was very wrong about that. The first person to arrive was some old guy who immediately told me I had damaged the sign and would have to pay for it. Mind you, I hit the corner of the sign and there was not even a scratch on it.
I could not believe he had the audacity to not even ask if me and the other driver were ok or anything. The old man then called his HOA hot-shot, who was all dressed up in a suit, so that she could tell me the same thing. Months later, they kept making claims on my insurance and trying to sue to get their fern replaced. Long story short, they are scum who don’t care about anything other than exercising what little power they have.
For what it’s worth, even the 15-year-old kid did the right thing and pulled a U-turn to see if I was ok. He also admitted fault to the authorities. He had a permit and was driving his older friend to his job.
95. Just Say No
Today was a good day. As a member of my three-person board for my HOA. I helped officially dissolve our HOA. I bought my house 21 years ago. Admittedly I was rather naive about HOAs and the nonsense about “protecting your property values” etc. But I had a family on the way, it was a quiet and (at the time) rural part of the state, and it was a nice house at a reasonable price.
So I figured why not, I'd only be there a couple of years and then I could sell and move on. For various reasons, we stayed at the house. Those included the housing market crash where I was underwater on the house for a number of years and I wanted to avoid uprooting the kids out of the schools they were in. During that time, I watched some of the most messed-up things happen.
Stuff like selective enforcement of the rules, or no enforcement on really important ones. At one point, the board decided to "outsource" to a property management company that embezzled thousands from the HOA. Just a whole mess of things. So if I hate HOAs so much why did I join? Well, because I figured I couldn’t complain if I didn’t contribute. Then one day, something really odd happened.
I had multiple neighbors ask me if it was possible to “dismantle the HOA”. I told them, “Yes but it’s a LOT of work. We need at least 2/3 of the homeowners to vote on ballots saying ‘yes’ to dissolving the HOA. A ‘no’ vote or not voting were the same thing”. So the board agreed unanimously to put it up to a vote. We went door to door and collected signed ballots from each homeowner.
While there, we answered any questions they had, including; “Well, what if people vote to keep it?” We’d reply, “Then the HOA stays, that’s clearly what the homeowners want!” And of course, there was the: “Well don’t you care about your house value?? We need an HOA!” Of course, we would tell people the same thing: “If you think keeping it is the right thing to do, you should vote accordingly”.
In the end, it was clear the people living here (some of whom were the first buyers of the house and still living here from when the development was first put in) had had enough of dealing with the HOA. They all felt the same pain and frustration that I did. We got OVER 2/3 of the homeowners voting to dissolve the HOA. We’ll be working on filing the results with the state.
Today was a good day.
96. Dog Day Afternoon Gone Wrong
I am a landlord with a decent portfolio of properties. I have a tenant with a major disability who requires an actual service dog. The president of the HOA was somehow convinced this wasn’t a “real” service dog. They went to disgusting lengths to “test” this theory. I wish I was making this next part up, but the president illegally entered my home and put his fingers down the dog’s throat, then struck the dog to see how we would react.
I have a restraining order against him and he has been told verbally and in writing that he is not allowed on or in any of my properties without my written permission. Long story short, mistreating a service animal is a good way to get charged, plus be investigated by the ADA and fair housing. He spent a long time in the county clinker for that one.
Flickr, Found Animals Foundation
97. No Pizza For You
Ok, so, we're gonna set the way-back machine to circa 2000 on this one...gas is cheap, cell phones were small, and my Ford got amazing gas mileage. As the (now) ex-wife and I were struggling with our bills, she decided that the easiest thing (for her) was for me to get a second job to try to catch up and then get something into our savings.
Having seen the sign in the window of the local pizza shop, she badgered me into applying. Fast-forward a couple of months, and I have settled into my mind-numbing routine of working 60-70 hours a week at two jobs. On this particular day, I was scheduled to work on Saturday, which was hit-or-miss for tips. You see, our delivery area was very nouveau riche, combined with scattered groups of Florida rednecks.
You would have a gated community with McMansions and BMWs right next to a trailer park. Oddly enough, the smaller the house and cheaper the car, the bigger the tip...which factors into the story. On this particular Saturday, a local HOA was throwing a pizza party for the residents. I think they were celebrating the last house being sold, or moving the HOA from the developer to the board, or something.
Anyway, they ordered a TON of pizza. So much so that the manager had scheduled extra kitchen staff and had them show up an hour early just for this one order. He even gave them a discount on the pizza, since they ordered so much. There were so many pies that it took me and another driver two trips apiece to deliver it all. When we got the last boxes of pizza delivered, the manager wrote a check for the total.
Couple hundred dollars and change...rounded up to the next dollar for our "tip". This would come back to bite them. So, I left, and went back to the store. The manager asked me how much of a tip I got, to which I replied "87 cents". He didn't believe me, so I showed him the check. He then asked me if I was messing with him, and if they had given me a cash tip.
"Nope!" He. Went. OFF! He walked over to the phone, called the manager of the HOA, cussed her out for not tipping his drivers AFTER he had discounted the order and scheduled extra staff just for her order. He told her that he was entering that entire subdivision into the computer as "Do Not Deliver". He then hung up, opened the cash register, and gave each of us a $20 bill for a tip.
To this day, I have no idea if any of the residents were ever able to order from that store.
98. President Wannabe
The neighborhood my awful mother's house is in had an HOA that was disbanded in the early 90s for the pretty stereotypical reasons. Corrupt leaders, misappropriation of funds, etc. I really don't have many details on it since I was very little when it went down. Here’s the twist. My horrible mother had apparently been openly aiming for a seat on the HOA council for years.
So she was really sore when the HOA was gone because she could no longer run for a position. Fast forward to 1999. My mom had been trying to quote the old HOA covenants to the neighborhood for years and insisted that the rules and regulations set forth when the HOA was active should still be abided by. Literally no one wanted to listen to her.
So my mother started putting fliers around the neighborhood that detailed she was restarting the HOA without their approval, and would be its first new president. It backfired on her so hard. The neighbors ended up in an uproar over this and showed up to her public meeting. And there she was verbally ripped to shreds as nearly every single homeowner in the neighborhood not only denied their support of another HOA, but also made it clear to her what she was trying to do was not right.
My mother was incensed by this. No surprise, she didn't even have my father's support, which was something she'd initially been counting on. But he refused from the onset of her scheme. So when the neighborhood all refused to recreate the HOA, my mother went off on my dad for not being supportive of her. After she gaslighted herself into nearly being out of breath, my father gave her the shock of her life.
My dad told her she was just looking for a way to lord over the neighborhood, and he'd never support that. She tried to argue with him some more. But he just ended the conversation and walked away. Somehow that still didn't stop my mother though. She went and contacted a sleazy lawyer about trying to get the HOA running again without the support of the residents.
Her hope was that there was some sort of law that could reactivate the HOA on different grounds. The lawyer went through all the old HOA documents and state laws over a couple of days and told my mother there was nothing that could be done as it was not enforceable, and that without the consent and signed support of enough people in the neighborhood there was no way to legally restart the HOA.
He then proceeded to bill her for the time he spent looking through all of that. Here’s the best part. Since my mother hired the sleazy lawyer herself under the table, she had to pay him. But she hated paying anyone for anything because she was so cheap. Now an important fact of note was that my dad hadn't trusted her with his money for years and no longer kept joint bank accounts with her.
She had no way to access his money. So she filed for a new credit card using his name and then used said credit card to pay the lawyer instead. My dad noticed a new credit card statement in his name pretty fast and nearly filed for fraudulent behavior when my mother came clean out of fear. He demanded she pay off the credit card, and then have said card deactivated.
My mother didn't want to, but he threatened her some more. I still remember hearing the argument where she tried to claim that he couldn't do anything because they were married, and everything that was his was also hers. That meant that she could do what she did and he'd still have to pay. Dad called her bluff on that and said he'd contest the charges and get the card removed from his name.
This would have left my mother in serious trouble for debt collection. She begrudgingly paid off the money owed, and my dad cut the card to little pieces with scissors. Then the truth came out. My mother had the money to pay the lawyer all along. She just preferred to keep her cash and put any expenses she could on my father. He always stopped her, though that ended when they divorced.
My mother still spent the next few years trying to quote the HOA covenants to neighbors. But she was always dismissed or laughed at every single time she tried. A few people started referring to her as “President Wannabe.” To this day, no HOA has formed in the neighborhood again. And even if one did, they'd never vote in my evil mother.
99. HOA Karen
This happened over a year ago. I'm 29-year-old man and am a homeowner. I bought a house in 2019 from my uncle because he was well set and wanted to retire to his second home by a lake. Before buying the house, my uncle warned me that the neighborhood has an HOA, but it only affects those who joined it and my uncle thankfully did not.
Besides that, the price my uncle was offering was half the home's value. I couldn't pass up the offer. So I bought a house in an HOA neighborhood that wasn't a part of the HOA. I thought I was okay. I was so, so wrong. Right after I moved in, I got a knock at the door. When I opened it, I was greeted by an older woman with short greying blonde hair and a face covered in thick makeup.
She was holding a welcome to the neighborhood gift basket. She introduced herself as the president of the HOA and asked to come in so she could help me fill out some forms. I knew what she was trying to do because my uncle warned me she did this to every new homeowner in the area who wasn't a part of the HOA. I quickly and bluntly stated I was not going to join her HOA. The change was frightening.
Her smile quickly disappeared and she started saying that I did not have a choice as all new homeowners are mandated to join. I told her I knew in advance that was a total lie, and that I will not be paying any dues or fines. I said will be ready to call a lawyer if I have to. She called me a thorn to the neighborhood at that point and said she'd be back.
We did not speak to each other for some time. I expected her to start sending me fines in the mail, but the most I usually got were letters stating that my grass was getting too tall, or my driveway needed sweeping. Those never bothered me because they are normal home chores and need to be done regularly anyway. But several neighbors that were on the HOA's side made it clear they didn't like me because I didn't join, just like my uncle.
I said that was fine. We're neighbors, but we don't have to be friends. They said that was fine too because I'm an outsider and they'll never accept me until I join the HOA. Later in early 2020, I got word from a friend that people were starting to buy a lot of disinfectant, toilet paper, and hand sanitizer in mass. I decided the best option was to order these things online.
I got eight big 12-packs of toilet paper, a case of 20 bottles of hand sanitizer, three boxes of disposable latex gloves, a couple of boxes of disposable face masks, and a case of 20 large cans of name-brand disinfectant spray. I set for the delivery to be signed for only me as I did not trust anyone not to take my packages if they were just left on my porch.
When the packages were delivered, several neighbors saw me getting lots of toilet paper and some other packages that contained the other stuff. And just because I'm a paranoid guy, I still bought more of the same stuff when I saw it in stores. Like those small cheap four-packs of toilet paper, or off-brand disinfectant sprays. I bought them because I had a feeling some friends or family might need some soon.
And I was right. As expected, toilet paper, disinfectant, and sanitizer pretty much disappeared from store shelves for miles around. And people were fighting over hoarding it. Meanwhile, I've got a very generous supply that I still haven't come close to using up. However, word of my supply got around fast when people started needing some.
A friend of mine ran out of toilet paper and had no hand sanitizer. So I gave him a couple of the generic four-packs of TP and a bottle of sanitizer at my door. A few family members ran out too, and I shared with them as well. They were all extremely grateful. But then came the downside. I ended up with several neighbors knocking on my door and asking to buy my supply or wanting handouts.
I refused and said I only gave some of what I had away to friends and family. They made it pretty clear to me before that we'd never be friends since I refused to join the HOA. Moreover, if I were to give some to one neighbor, they'd all want my supplies, and then I'd run out really fast. They didn't like this and harassed me several times from the sidewalk.
I just ignored them. Later the HOA Karen showed up at my door and told me several neighbors had run out of all the items that this post is about. It got ridiculous fast. She then said she wasn't asking, but demanding I share my stock with my neighbors to set a good example. I told her to buzz off because that had nothing to do with me. I may be a jerk, but I'm a well-prepared jerk.
Also, I've read her HOA bylaws online. So even if I was a member of her HOA, which I was not, I wouldn't have to give up my stock either way. She left while yelling at me that one day I'd regret not being a good neighbor or being a part of her HOA. Well, I did regret it. The next time I went to work I was notified around noon by the cameras I had at my house that there was a thief breaking into my home.
I could see video of them on my smartphone and it looked like a woman in a spandex suit with her face covered by a hockey mask. I called the authorities immediately and was allowed to clock out at work so I could rush home. Right around the time I got there, officers were walking HOA Karen out in handcuffs to a cruiser. She'd broken into my home by using a crowbar to force open the back door.
When they caught her, she was tossing all of my toilet paper and any other supplies she could grab out into my backyard, where her kids were picking it up and bagging it. I pressed charges and HOA Karen got six months in the slammer and probation. HOA Karen's husband called me to apologize for his wife and told me that he had been planning a divorce for a while because this isn't the first time she's been in trouble with the law.
CPS got involved too because she was using her kids to help pilfer me. So he was going to file for full custody in the divorce. HOA Karen didn't return and someone new was elected HOA president in her place. Her husband didn't move and I see him from time to time. There's no hard feelings between us. And yes, he did get full custody of his kids because his wife had a darker history with the law than I thought.
We're sort of friends now too as we've occasionally had a drink together and he helped me replace my back door that his ex broke. I'm making this post more than a year later because I just saw HOA Karen again. I was visiting some friends in another city and saw her working at the local supermarket there, bagging groceries. As soon as we saw each other she obviously recognized me because she scowled and refused to look at me again the entire time I was there. Karma is a real witch, isn’t it Karen!
100. The Truth Will Come Out
My uncle bought a piece of land and built his house on it several years later. In the meantime, several houses were made around him and an HOA was formed. He never joined it because he hated the idea of HOAs. The whole problem started when my uncle saw several kids playing in his backyard. Now, my uncle has seven dogs—two are Bloodhounds, one was a Pitbull, and the rest were mutts.
Naturally, he was worried that the kids might get bitten by a dog so he built a fence around the border of his land. It took him three days to finish. The very next day, he got a surprise. He finished he gets a fine from the HOA for building the fence without their permission. He ignores it since he is not part of the HOA and the fence is on his land.
A week later, someone from the HOA comes to talk to him about the fence. He says he is not paying the fine because he is not part of the HOA and he then explains why he built the fence (the HOA apparently thought he had one dog and not seven). My uncle says goodbye at that point, thinking they had come to an agreement that the fence was fine but my uncle would paint it.
He already planned to do that, he had just not gotten around to it. The next day, however, he now gets several fines, one of which was for his dogs and another was for the fence. He again ignored it. Several days later, he buys two white paint cans and starts to paint the fence. While he is doing it, several people that live there walked by. Things began to get odder.
While some said hi, others just glared at him as they walked by. He paid them no mind and after a while, several people from the HOA came by to complain about the color he chose. He didn't understand what was wrong, after all it was white, so he asks what was wrong with it. Their answer was outrageous. They said they didn't approve of him building the fence let alone painting it.
They proceeded to say that he has to tear down the whole fence by the end of the week and then request for permission to build the fence again. He refuses and says again that he was not part of the HOA. This turns into an argument where his dogs are brought up, and by the end of it they were threatening his dogs. By this point, there was a small crowd gathering and watching.
My uncle calms himself down, picks up his paint, and goes back home. Three days later while he was walking around the inside of the fence, he finds several pieces of bacon covered in a white powder. When he picked them up, they smelled like chemicals. He came to a terrifying realization. Someone was trying to poison his dogs at this point.
He’s now incensed. He installs several cameras around the fence to find out who it was and he actually gets them on camera one night. He goes to the HOA meeting that was happening next month, but when he gets there it turned out that the person trying to poison his dogs was the HOAs president, of all people. He still showed the video and even brought some of the bacon as proof.
He said that if it continued, he would contact the authorities. After that, the bacon stopped being thrown into his yard and the president was voted out. She later moved somewhere else. It wasn't until a month after the former president moved that he was told the kids he saw playing in his yard were her kids, and that since he built the fence they had been complaining non-stop for months that they could no longer play there.
101. Fences Don’t Always Make Good Neighbors
While retrieving my mail shortly after moving into my new home, there was a flyer attached to the mailbox post. I read the flyer with interest, finding out that it was from the neighbor who purchased the model home at the entrance of our subdivision. The flyer was addressed to all members of the Homeowners Association.
It essentially informed us that the HOA was using our HOA dues to sue him for not removing a fence from his front yard. The builder erected the chestnut rail fence around the front yard of the model home when it was built and the purchaser never thought anything about it. A contingent of HOA officers notified him that he had 24 hours to remove the fence or face a lawsuit.
Having already faced the wrath of the HOA myself, I stopped at his home to talk with him. After ascertaining the preceding information, I informed him that anything existing on the closing date of the real estate transfer, was grandfathered in and therefore, the fence was fair. I then proceeded to show this to him in the covenants.
At the time, I was an editor with the local newspaper and asked if he minded my writing an article about this incident in the newspaper. He readily agreed and I went off to discuss it with the managing editor. Between us, we decided to run a series of articles about HOAs and the “little tyrants who run them”, highlighting this incident.
The series ran seven weeks on the editorial page, during which time, the court case was held and the homeowner won with the HOA having to pay his lawyer’s fees. He told me that had they asked, he would have removed the fence with no problem, but he was a retired colonel in the US Army and was not used to being ordered to do things. Thirty-six years later, the fence is still there.
