16. Ice Cream Flavor
I was working at an ice cream shop a few years back. This one ridiculous woman came in one day and evidently had the intention of sampling EVERY SINGLE FLAVOR IN THE FREEZER.
She literally stood around for like 20 minutes, holding up a line that was forming behind her while she had me systematically serve her up one miniature spoonful at a time.
Fortunately, before I resorted to smashing her face through the counter, some handsome, eloquent gent behind her administered a much-needed wake-up call and got her out the door.
He ragged her out about wasting everyone's time. "Enjoy that banana. I'm gonna guess that it tastes like a banana". She got the point. And Jesus Christ, she actually ended up ordering vanilla.
17. “I Have A Right!”
I used to be a tech at a small computer shop. One day, this guy came in because his laptop, which we had reformatted the month before, was overheating.
With my boss in the other room, I tried to explain to the guy that overheating is a hardware issue, whereas the reinstall was to clear his computer of viruses. He insisted that we broke his computer and began going on and on about how we "screwed him".
So my boss comes out to the front counter, approaches him politely, and tries to explain that he overheard the conversation and everything I was saying is correct. The guy continues to berate both of us, yelling swears left and right. He then says, "I have a right to report this to the BBB!"
My boss replies, "You also have the right to get out of my store, and I strongly suggest you do so". The guy left, and my boss turned to me to say "ah, the joys of owning your own business. The customer is not always right. In fact, they're usually an idiot".
18. The Apologetic Wrong Customer
I would like to share a story of how I was once a bad customer. This was some years ago—I had recently gotten cable internet or phone or some such thing (can't remember exactly) and set it up on some kind of autopay scheme. These usually take one or two billing cycles to kick in.
After about two months, I got a letter saying I needed to pay or they would disconnect the service. I called in, got the payment taken care of over the phone, and thought everything was hunky dory. A few days after that, the service was disconnected. I was furious—and did something I regret now.
I called the support 1-800 number and yelled at the customer service representative. After about five minutes of me being a complete asshole to this guy, it turned out the disconnection had nothing to do with the billing issue. It was a technical, unrelated matter that was my fault.
The rep was calm throughout the whole ordeal, just trying to help me. I apologized profusely as soon as I realized this, but that was after five minutes of me refusing to listen to what the guy was saying because I was so busy being furious and yelling.
19. The Musicland White Whale
I used to work for Musicland (before they all became Sam Goody). The bane of my existence was some kid who would come through the store spitting sunflower seeds on the carpet as he browsed around the sections.
Since the seed shells are pointed, they would get caught in the carpet and I would have to get down on the floor and pick them up by hand—all the soggy, hooked ones that the vacuum couldn't get (around 50%).
The trail he left was always the same: a small pile in New Releases, a trail leading back to Clearance, then a trail leading to a large pile in Rap & Hip Hop—thus, convincing me that it was always the same kid gobbing his saliva-soaked garbage on the floor.
One day, I'm at the cashier ringing some lady out and my white whale sidles up to the rap section. He begins to hawk a heroic amount of empty, sodden seed shells onto the floor with a thpthpthp sound. He has so much to let go, he has to lean over to the side so they don't cover the front of him on the way down.
I stop what I'm doing, turn to the kid in shock and say, "Don't hawk saliva on my floor, you disgusting little rugrat!" The woman at the wrap is his mother.
She starts getting indignant with me, swearing and shouting and demanding an apology for calling her delicate son bad words (meanwhile, this kid is studying a CD whose cover depicts a little person with a wound to the eye).
I respond by asking whether he spits on the floors at home. That doesn't soothe her and she starts demanding to see the manager. I call up the manager (who was the best man at my wedding) and explain the matter to him.
She says, "Well, are you going to make him apologize?" To which he replies, "Do you apologize when he spits on the floors at home?" She grabbed her son and stormed out. But that wasn't the last of him.
Two weeks later, I busted him in the back of the store stuffing CDs into his oversized pants (but sans sunflower seeds). His mother refused to come in to get him when the authorities called her. Good times.
20. If I Don’t Like It It’s Bad
My favorite client at my first job scooping ice cream gave me an earful for "selling her daughter and friends blue moon ice cream that was obviously messed up and defective".
By messed up she meant “one girl didn't like it, therefore all three didn't". I had even offered samples beforehand, but the mom said not to bother.
21. Smile Baby
I worked at a family portrait studio. The story that comes to mind is about this woman who made me photograph her baby for two hours. The baby was not smiling. I am GREAT at making kids smile, but it just wasn't going to happen.
The average sitting at the portrait studio is 30-45 minutes. But no joke, I looked at the clock, and this woman made me take pictures of her baby for two hours. She kept insisting that she was going to buy a lot of pictures. At one point she turned to me and said, "It's ok though, you're paid by the hour, right?"
YES, BUT I ALSO GET PAID A COMMISSION. After two hours, she used a coupon for a free photo. I tried to push her—she ended up buying $20 worth. Meanwhile, my coworkers had done several $100+ sales in that time. Gah. We also sold pre-paid packages, which were really cheap, and had limitations.
There were SO MANY DEBATES over the rules of the packages. I quit retail/customer service in May and could not be happier.
22. “Why Are These Hot Spicy Rings So Hot & Spicy?”
I can list hundreds, but here's one I keep at the front of my mind so I can have a giggle.
A guy orders "Hot and Spicy Onion Rings" with a subheading of "Onion rings coated in a hot chili batter". These were one of the favorites at the restaurant I used to manage, the same recipe was used for as long as I remember.
I notice one of his toddlers gasping for air, so instinctively I run over with a glass of water, hand it to him and check on the kid. I ask him what's up and the boy says, "Burns!! Hot!!" The young lad's about three or four…
I clear up any debris on the table from the ordeal and walk back to the bar to check on staff, closely followed by his father. The father claims he's going to sue because I served the onion rings to the table and didn't make him aware that they had chili in them.
He stated that every other time he'd been to the restaurant they never served them with chili. Apparently, the last time he visited, he said, was a month prior. It was my responsibility to make sure he knew they were hot, according to him.
I pointed out that the item on the menu contained the word hot, spicy, and chili more than once and that it was his responsibility to ensure the food that HE fed to his kids was suitable, not mine.
He blushed after seeing the menu information and blushed even more when I showed him the printed date on the back of the menu. Nearly a year prior to the incident. Needless to say, I enjoyed every second of knowing I, the manager, was 100% right.
23. Buy 2 Get 1 Free
I used to work at GameStop and you would not believe the idiots that don’t understand how a buy two, get one free sale works.
I’ve had to explain to fully grown adults (countless times, by the way) that they couldn't buy two 99-cent copies of some jampack summer demo disc and get a new copy of whatever $60 madden or midnight club thing they wanted.
This has happened many, many times.
24. A Great Manager
I had a mom come in and yell at one of my teenage employees one day when I wasn't there. When I heard about it, I picked up the phone, called the parent, and told them to NEVER come back. The parent was flabbergasted and stated that she hadn't been rude to my staff at all.
While saying this, I could tell she was trying to get her dander up for a fight. I just got mine up too and said, "You don't pay me enough to put up with this ridiculousness. I don't care how you treat other people in town, but you can't do that at my place. You are just glad I wasn't there because I would have embarrassed you in front of everyone".
At this point, she starts back peddling big time, telling me how much her kids love us, whether there was anything she could do, etc. Since I did like her kids, I told her if she apologized to the employee I might let her stay. But if she uttered a single mean word, even one, I warned her, "I am going to bounce you like a super ball!"
After that, she was so easy to deal with.
25. Discontinued Fragrances
I worked at Bath and Body Works for many many years. Fragrances tend to come and go, some stick around forever like cucumber melon and sweet peas but most eventually go so new ones can come in.
This upsets a lot of customers because they get used to a certain scent they enjoy. Most people, when told their fragrance has been discontinued, are like oh wow that sucks. I usually suggest one that may be similar and they move on.
One time, this lady came in looking for a scent we no longer carried. I told her this, and she just looked at me with this sort of sociopathic stare. She said, " I know you have some in the back".
I very kindly explained to her that, we do not have any, our semi-annual sale in which we do sometimes have some older fragrances has ended and what you see is what we have. She didn't believe me.
I went back to "look" to humor her but our backroom is the size of a closet and I was well aware we did not have this. She threw an absolute fit, accusing me of lying, insisting the scent was not discontinued, and somehow she got the idea I was just "too lazy" to climb the ladder because it was probably on the top shelf.
She blamed me personally that we didn't have it, and basically told me she knew about my conspiracy to hide stuff in the backroom. She was completely nuts.
26. “We’re Not Fighting Today, Ma’am”
One day this lady comes in and while she is buying something, is just being extremely rude. I forget what her beef was specifically, but it was nothing relevant to the products or services we were providing, she was trying to pick a fight with me specifically.
I'm having a good day and am completely unfazed by this. So while I'm ringing her up, I proceed to very politely inform her that my function at the store is not to absorb the anger from her bad day, and she might want to go have a chamomile tea or something.
This just sets her off to the point of yelling. As my co-worker who was bagging her stuff is now hiding behind the counter, I re-iterate my opinion that it's wrong to take things out on random people. Then she yells at me for smiling, as I was smiling the whole time, and storms off to customer service, threatening to get me fired.
So, they told me that when she shows up at the service desk, she says she wants to make a complaint about someone, and they ask the name... and as soon as she says my name all three girls at the counter start laughing at her, cause they know I'm the nicest guy in the whole store.
She walks out of the store crying. I was a hero in the break room for weeks.
27. Mini Watermelons
I was working in the produce section of a supermarket. An older man comes up to me and asks where the mini watermelons are. I show him. He looks at them for a few seconds and says, "A few days ago, you had some that are bigger. Do you have any bigger ones?"
I said, stunned, "The… watermelons are over there".
28. Cute Loophole
When I was 17, I worked at Walgreens. The dress code stated that men had to wear a collared shirt and tie. So, being my cute and smart self, I used to wear a polka dot shirt with a black bow tie once a week. The old ladies loved it and commented on how it's a shame nobody wears bow ties anymore.
One day, a grumpy middle-aged lady came in and was infuriated that her prescription was not ready yet and proceeded to yell at me at tell me how stupid my tie and shirt were, and that my mother should be beaten for letting me leave the house like that. I told her it was not nice to bring someone's mom into this.
The store manager heard the lady yelling and came over, this is when the lady started telling the manager it was "unprofessional" for me to wear a polka dot shirt and bow tie. Sadly, I was told not to wear them anymore to appease the customer.
Freepik,borjandreu
29. Fired Up
A patient once had a cancer stick in their room while they were simultaneously hooked up to an oxygen tank. They saw no problem with it. Though they completely understood when I told them the fire Marshall was going to be called and fine them $10,000.
30. Another Refund Attempt
I worked at the Wal-Mart service desk in high school. A super white trash lady brings in a TV that looked older than me, saying she bought it the day before and it didn't work.
She had no box, or anything else that would have come with it, and claimed that she lost the receipt. Of course, I deny her a refund. She pitches a fit and demands to see the manager.
When this happens, the manager would come up front and have me "inspect" the item further, basically in an attempt to make it look like we were trying to help when we weren't. While I was inspecting the TV, I found the receipt taped to the bottom of it. It was a Sears receipt dated 1986. This took place in 2004.
The look on that woman's face was priceless.
31. “I’m Sure You Sell This!”
There was a very old man that sat in the closed section and then ordered an item we didn't have. I told him we didn't have it and he insisted that he had it there yesterday. mI had worked yesterday and he wasn't there. I just made it for him.
32. Faulty Logic
I work in a call center. So many idiots insist the problem can't be their computer because "It worked yesterday". Yeah, well so did the service, so by your logic, the service cannot be the issue either.
33. Won’t Take No For An Answer
I work in a call center for a credit card company and this happened last night. Our policy (since I've been working here) has been that we no longer offer co-applicants on accounts. This guy requested to have his wife added as a co-app and I told him we couldn't.
He repeated that he wanted his wife added as a co-app, and again I told him we couldn't. After five minutes of going back and forth, both of us saying the same thing, he finally requests a supervisor. So a supervisor gets on the line, and after another 10 minutes of going back and forth, both parties saying the same thing in different ways, the guy finally gets mad.
He says he's calling the president of the company and hangs up on us. I mean really? If someone says no to you three times in three different ways, don't you sort of get the hint?
34. I Can’t Be Responsible For My Ignorance
I work at Walmart. My personal favorite was the woman who claimed it wasn't her fault she didn't look up and see the price of the item in eight-inch tall numbers.
35. Last-Minute Changes
I’m a web designer and I get a very special brand of annoying customers: The guy who makes last-minute changes to huge projects because he can.
Oh, you don't like the logo I revised three times for you? You want to use the one made in 1998, with the gradient-studded golf ball that looks like what someone makes on their first try using Illustrator? Awesome. Thanks for that.
Oh? I'm not allowed to change the colors either? Because beige and off-white are hot right now? Clearly, you know better than I do, I've only been doing this for six years.
Nooo...this logo will look great! It's not like I based the color palette of your site on the logo I painstakingly made for you over the last two weeks. Oh wait, that's exactly what I did!
36. Frequent Flyer
I spent 11 years at a major Airline. One day, some guy walks up to the ticket counter and yells about how he thinks we screwed him. He then throws his frequent flyer card at me, saying, "This thing isn't worth anything anymore, Just throw it away, how are you going to make this right?"
So I fix his problem, then I say, "Normally I would give you 5,000 miles, but since I am throwing away your card, I know you don't want those". He looked at me blankly, told me to go ahead and give him the miles and his card back, and then crawled away.
37. The Man With Places To Be
Late one night, we had a flight arrive really late because of the weather. Everyone had missed their connecting flights. Because it was late, we had hotels, food vouchers, and already had flights booked for the morning for everyone.
So...two guys walk up. One of which was screaming about traveling all day, and wanting to be in city X, and that there has to be another flight. Once I tell him there isn't or he would be on it, he was still screaming and said, "You have to give me options!"
I said, “Okay you have two options—Option 1 is to go to the hotel, take a hot shower, eat dinner on us, and arrive home tomorrow morning. Option 2 is you can just stand here and yell at me all night and I'm on overtime so I really don't mind".
His buddy wouldn’t stop laughing and told him to leave me alone.
Wikimedia Commons, WANGBI Leiams
38. This Isn’t Madness
I was standing in line at the grocery store and the woman behind me says just loud enough to hear but not to be overly obnoxious, "Can't you hire more cashiers...this is madness!"
Generally, I'm a very patient person, even when other people are acting impatient but I couldn't help but turn around and politely inform her, "No ma'am...this isn't madness...it's SPARTA!"
She was old and didn't really get it but other folks in line snickered and the cashier could barely hold in his laughter.
39. The Ninja Bartender
I worked in a bar in a college town. It was a slow night, and there was a hot girl working behind the bar with me. A plastered frat boy mimes leaning over the bar to put his mouth under the tap and reach for the tap,
I don't think he was going to pour but he trying to be funny for his idiot friends. Hot girl bartender does the unthinkable: She takes two steps, grabs his hair, and slams his face on the bar breaking his nose.
He looks up shocked and she points at the door and says, very icily, "Get out now". He walked out the door, still in shock saying nothing, the bar is quiet. She looks at his friends and says, "Any-you other idiots need anything?"
They say nothing. I was in awe, that was totally ninja.
40. The Rich Lady
I’m a retail manager. I once had a woman who was pretty rude to me considering I knew her address, SSN, phone number, credit card number, etc…
I won’t get into specifics but the conversation included: "Are you implying I can't afford a stamp? I probably make four times as much as you: a lowly sales clerk," and "You're an idiot".
Funnily enough, she was chewing me out for a mistake made by another store in a different state. I'm zillowing her house, googling her, checking on people, and trying not to laugh. She works in customer service. Ha!
41. The Mathematician
I had a lady ask me how much 40% off 79.99 was. I replied, "Well let's see 8x4 is 32 and 79-32 is..." And she cuts me off to say, "There is an easier way to do that".
So I retort with, "Then WHY did you ask me if you knew?" She didn't have much to say after that.
42. “Give Mommy Some Time, Okay?”
There was a woman whose son was vomiting outside the store. When alerted by one of my associates, she stated to her child, "I'm not done shopping yet, go wait in the car". Meanwhile, her son (and our front door) remained covered in vomit.
43. Karma or Revenge?
One time at a drive-thru, this guy handed over the total one bill at a time and one coin at a time. My employee responded by doing the same thing with his change and his order. Not very serious, but I thought it was amusing.
44. Take Your Change And Leave
Just the other day, some annoying teenagers came through my drive-thru and paid 17 dollars for a 16.61 order.
The driver told the guy at the window to keep the change because "he looks like he needs it". I’d recently been promoted, and I don't care about a customer who thinks he can treat someone in food service like they’re worthless. I knew just what to do.
I refunded his money and told him to get off the property. Satisfying for sure.
45. The Polite Wrong Customer
Once a guy paid the tab at his daughter's wedding reception, but later, he was so plastered—he insisted he didn't pay and tried to pay it again.
His tab was $300. He was very nice about making sure he paid. Cash too, he's lucky I was honest.
46. Wrongful Accusation
I was accused of body-slamming a customer when I wasn't even working that day.
47. Confused Mommy
During high school, I worked for Jewel-Osco, which is basically a grocery store with a pharmacy attached. A woman who couldn't have been more than twenty came up with a pregnancy test and was puzzled. The conversation went something like this:
Her: So, I get my part of the directions, but what about the other half?
Me: ...Pardon?
Her: Well, what do I have them do?
Me: Them?
Her: You know, THEM.
I stare at her in complete confusion.
Her: The possible fathers! If I'm pregnant, how do I find out which one is the daddy?
Me: ...I think you need a paternity test for that.
Her: Okay, sell me one of those.
Freepik, gpointstudio
48. The Frog
I worked in a store in a mall. We are kind of a head shop but it started as just a store with a lot of random stuff. Last Christmas, we were selling frogs and Beta fish in these cool brick tank things.
I am working with my manager, and this Indian lady comes in and plops the tank down on the counter with a frog floating inside. It was not alive. The tank also happens to be ice cold.
She asks for a refund, I tell her we don't have refunds on the frogs (which is clearly marked), and we definitely don't refund unalive frogs. She leaves the frog on the counter and runs out to grab her father.
My manager looks at me and goes, oh god, these people were so obnoxious, they were here two days ago, and her son was a total brat, you can handle them!!!
Ok, thanks, MANAGER. She knows I love arguing with rude customers. The father comes in, demanding a refund. He claims the frog was no longer alive when he bought it.
Me: How do you know that?
Him: Because I saw it wasn’t alive when I bought it.
Me: Why would you buy a deceased frog?
He paused. Then answered: My grandson was insistent on THIS specific frog.
Me: Well why would you get him a deceased frog???
Him: Because that is the one he wanted.
Me: I'm glad he wants it because we don't take back frogs that are no longer alive.
He is still standing there dumbstruck, and I go back to talking with my manager. After a few minutes of just standing there, he storms out and his daughter takes the frog.
49. Literal Drive-Thru
I was working in a pharmacy drive-thru and one patient smashed their car into the car in front of them. They then tried to push that car out of the way because they were taking too long. It was actually one of my first days working there.
I had to explain, “No, we will not be giving you your prescription, and I saw the whole thing and will be speaking to the authorities as soon as they arrive".
50. The Callous Tourist
I saw this happen at a Subway store here in London. This Italian kid walks in, talking on the phone AND listening to an iPod at the same time. I am sure he was listening to music since I could hear it blasting from the other headpiece which was not in his ear.
We are all waiting in a large queue as it's lunchtime and it's his time to say what toppings he wants. He says nothing as he is talking on the phone. After 30 seconds, he starts telling the poor woman over the counter what toppings he wants...in Italian.
The woman obviously does not understand what he wants and asks again; he repeats the toppings, again, in Italian but this time screaming (at the same time he is laughing with the person he's on the phone with).
This happens for more than two minutes, literally at which point he is shouting and hitting the window with his phone to let the woman know what he means and what toppings he wants. He was totally rude and of course, nobody from Subway could tell him anything.
Fortunately, this builder dude in the back of the queue comes ahead and tells him in his face "screw off and leave" at which point the guy leaves, still talking on the phone.
Sources: Reddit, ,
